Aussie Rules!

The AFL season is under way and here is a sweet commercial. That is an actual game. It's such a bad-assed sport that they have bulls, cars, etc. in a free for all across Australia. First team to kick it in the ocean wins.

Watch it. Get Setanta. Watch the footy.
See you in September.

Dance Monkey! Dance!

What? It's a bear? Oh. Sorry. Dance Bear! Dance!

What's better than playoff hockey? Overtime playoff hockey that's what!

With that said, shame on you Versus! Shame on you NHL! Shame, shame! What's the deal with not showing every second of every game? How about just relevant seconds of a game? Games should be on Versus, the NHL Network, the Golf Channel, wherever! Just show the games! I had to wait for highlights of the Canes game winner over the Devils when all Versus was showing was the studio tools (sorry Mr. Jones. The studio tools and the great, please be nice to me, Keith Jones). Cut in live! Show the games! Showcase the sport! Live hockey, breathe hockey, show fu*kin' hockey! Versus stepped up on Thursday night and let us watch the last 6+ minutes of an entertaining 1-0 Devils victory. Huzzah to Versus! Now keep it up.

Speaking of Mr. Jones: what did the Habs' Mike Komisarek do to make him so angry? WOW!

Hootenanny Roundup Spectacular

Since the Pengos that be have been slackin', here is a roundup of what we've missed while making the world safe for bananas, banana tycoons and banana related freaks everywhere:

Broncos Update: Jebus fu*king christmas! What the Wide, Wide World of Sports is going on here?!

1. Josh McDaniels - You go boy! It takes a child to show Bronco fans that a TEAM is not made by one player (unless that player be named John Elway, praise be his name). PengoSports had its doubts about the boy wonder but his first few months on the job helped to open our collective eyes, and he will be the man and the team will be alright. 9-7 in 2009, really tough schedule, but the future looks bright. TEAM, that's a crazy as*ed concept. There is no "I" in team, but there is a "M" and an "E". Speaking of which...

2. Jay Cutler - Hey as*hole! Fu*k you! Fu*k you and that douche bag of an agent, Bus Cook! What the hell kind of name is Bus? Culter and Cook handled this whole affair with such class and reserve. "They were talking about me." "My coach does not love me." "McDaniel touched me in my bad place." Chrispts! Maybe we overlooked your whining because we hoped you were the next Elway, but you're not Elway! Your not even Plumber! You are just a worthless little bitch that let Phillip Rivers and half the league get into your tiny, bitch skull and have not won jack since high school! Just shut the fu*k up! Good luck with the Bears. We all know how gentle those fans are with little bitch quarterbacks (see Rex Grossman). Oh. Cook was Farve's agent and we all saw how that sh*t circus turned out last Summer. Good luck with that too Jay.

3. Pat Bowlen - WTF?! It took you long enough to step up and take back your team. Within a day is saying "Cutler is outta here," Cutler was out of there. You are getting closer to being allowed to wear that nancy-boy coat of yours. Keep it up and you'll be pretty on the sidelines by December.

Avalanche Update: You cannot even lose properly!

It was a rough season. First you went with two sh*tty goalies. Then you signed a bunch of third-liners. Then everyone got hurt. Then the season went down the sh*tter. Yeah. That kind of season. At least they showed Giguere the door and now are just waiting for Granado's (a good guy but not the coach for the Avs) turn.

The team had a chance to finish in the bottom two, but screwed it up in the last couple of weeks by playing with pride and grinding out some unneeded points. While it was good to see them skate to the tape it would have been nice to suck and pick up Victor Hedman, the 6'7" 227 Swedish D man, with the 2nd pick.

PengoSports picks the Bruins over the Blues in the Cup Final in 6 games.


Los Nuggets update: We really don't like the basketball but good for them and whatever they do. As long as the Lakers and Celtics don't win it all the world will be a better place.


Rubgy: The Churchill Cup is coming to Denver in June!

A six nation, USA, Canada, Argentina, Ireland, Georgia (the country, not the state) and England will compete at Infinity Park and Dick's June 6-21. Tickets will be cheap. The violence will be fun. And we will get to watch the US get thumped by a bunch of Pengo countries that can't beat us in anything else (except Canada with hockey, Ireland in drinking, Argentina in rioting, England in inbreeding and Georgia in whatever the fu*k they do well).

Tickets are suppose to be on sale at Tickethorse.com now but are not. That's always a good sign. Still when they do go on sale buy them and enjoy the rugby.