A Great Big Tomato

Broncos! Chiefs. Broncos win 35-28! Chiefs lose. And Chiefs' coach Andy Reid is dressed like a great big tomato.

La Tomatina!

Bet you Andy is ordering Italian off that menu.
La Tomatina looks hungry.

Good for Andy. Not everyone looks good in red and that was a brave decision today.

Sorry you lost today coach.
Have a fun night sharing Kool-Aid with the kids.

Fear The Beards

At a press conference the other day Dodgers' reliever Brian Wilson was offered a cool million to shave off his beard. He said no. But he did give props to the Pacific Coast League by wearing his Albuquerque Isotopes shirt under his LA jersey.

Do that in the NFL and your ass gets a 10 grand fine.

And here's his brother playing for Angola against Egypt at the FIBA African Championships:

Maybe you should transfer some of that
beard to the top part of your head?

Pretty cool eh? Know what else is cool? Rugby League action on Fox Sports 2 tonight at 1000pm! Watch the Manly Sea Eagles and Canberra Raiders LIVE from Down Under! 

Watch Fox Sports 2 tonight at 1000pm,
on your brand new modern TV!

Oh. The Broncos host the Rams tonight at 600pm on KKTV 11. It is preseason still, so we should all get really, really excited, do some legal weed, dilute our piss tests and take the next six weeks off. 

Mr. Miller. You order is ready.

STUFF!

Saturday night! Let's watch us some sports!

Big men breaking out the big screen!

Right now:

USA v Canada in rugby union action on Universal Sports (DirecTV 625/Dish 402). Runs until about 700pm MDT, but the US is getting thumped 27-6 with just a bit to play. So watch at your own peril (unless you're a Canadian).

Rockies at Baltimore - 500pm to after 800ish MDT on Root Sports (DirecTV 683/Dish 414/Comcast 35). Rockies are taking a thumpin', down 7-1 in the 3rd.

700pm MDT - Rapids host Vancouver on Altitude (DirecTV 681/Dish 410/Comcast 56). New players Gabriel Torres and Vicente Sanchez add some spice to one of the hottest teams in the MLS. 

800pm on KKTV Channel 11 - BRONCOOOOOOOOOOOSSS! Take on the Seahawks. Manning may play a quarter+ tonight so it's worth watching for that.

1030pm - NRL Rugby, Warriors v Panthers, on Fox Sports 2 (Fuel TV DirecTV 618/Dish 398/Comcast 128). Not the greatest game, but it is the NRL and it is LIVE from Australia, so watch it dammit!

1230am - AUSSIE RULES on Fox Sports 2! Yup! It's back on a TV channel that more than 3 people can get! Bulldogs v Crows!

Enjoy your night! 

Broncos v 49ers

Tired of watching baseball? Never fear! Crappy preseason football is back tonight as the Broncos travel to San Francisco to play their starters a couple of plays and then it's "ON WITH THE SCRUBS!"  Watch LIVE on KKTV Channel 11 at 700pm MDT.

Denver Bronco scrubs doing what they do
after the starters go off to take a powder.

If you want to attending this meaningless game in person tickets are going for between $85-$485 through the 49ers and Ticketmaster (but on StubHub, which is NOT the official reseller of the NFL tickets, they are going for the low, low price of $33-$195. So much better. Not). Kay-riste! The NFL and all of its minions are a bunch of assholes for charging this kind of scratch for shitty football. But if you want your season tickets you got to pay for the preseason. Oh, and build us a stadium, oh and give us some more billionaire welfare or else we'll be forced to move to Los Angeles. Eat a bowl of dicks moneybags. 

Order up! Bowl of Dicks for the rich guys!

Well. I feel better now. Guess I have a few anger issues to work out before the real season begins.

Broncos Open Camp!

Hey! It's the Broncos! And they're doing stuff!

Yeah! Football! Um, practice. The Denver Broncos began training camp today so that means only 42 more days of repetitive practice reports, meaningless games played by faceless players we'll never see again and a whole lot of nothing until football really starts (first game isn't 'til Thursday, September 5th at 630pm vs them stupid Baltimore Ravens). Dammit!

Anyway. Here's some footage from Day 1:

Super Bowl here we come!

Here they are hanging Joe Flacco in effigy.

Quick! Hide! The cops are here for Von Miller's stash!
Wait. That's legal now in this state...
Quick! Hide! The NFL is here for Von Miller's stash!

Okay. You know the drill...Let's go. Broncos. Yada yada yada.

Don't Be That Guy

Hey Bronco Fans! If you are going to display the team logo don't be 'that guy' that butchers putting the horsehead and it ends up installed at a hella goofy angle:

Dude. This has been up for a long time.
You'd think once you found out you put it up wrong you'd fix it.
Nope.

Saw this on a car a couple of days ago.
Really? You have a helmet sticker on the other side.
Didn't you take a peek to see how it was suppose to look.

How the logo should be displayed.

While we're at it let's just go back to this logo:

Sharp. Damn sharp.

 What d'ya say baby food jar Bronco family?

Let's goooooo Broncoooooos.
Let's go Broncos. LET'S GO!

PengoSports solution? Just don't put up a logo.

Pengos of Fame

Is PengoSports Broncos' Ring of Fame worthy? Hell! PengoSports is EVERY DAMN HALL OF FAME WORTHY!

Thank you. Thank you. And random balloons
shopped onto our picture?
THANK YOU Broncos!

New Mile High Stadium has never looked classier...Hey! Look! Peyton Manning just got picked again.

Manning spots the open defender...

Summer of Manning - LIVE BRONCOS BLOG

BRONCOS! WOOOO! preseason.

Time to hunt us some preseason bears!

Welcome to the GRUDGE MATCH! Culter v McDaniels some new Broncos in exciting pre-season football action!. LIVE BLOG NOW!

Your announcers for tonight are Eddie Mac and Dave Logan.
And a lion.

632 pm - Eddie McCaffrery is on the air! And looks like he's going to hurl! Mid-season form for the new guy in the booth!

636 pm - Logan is babbling. We are already looking for the mute button. 

638 pm - No Cutler. Damn. He's still recovering from giving birth to a baby earlier this week. Congrats Jay! 

640 pm - Eddie is quite uncomfortable. Reminds me of Garth Algar.

"Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed
a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar
and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated
and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?"

644 pm - Hey! The new receivers drop the ball just like the old receivers!

646 pm - Manning suprised them with the imfamous 'Bronco Suck'. Complete off of a shitty pass.

647 pm - #87 Eddie Mac with the catch!?

#87. Eddie Mac 2 Electric Boogaloo

650 pm - 3 and a lot and Eddie Mac 2 again! Oh. It's Eric Decker. Sorry should have researched better cared.

652 pm - O-line looking good. Or is it that Manning is just that awesome that he can't be hit?

653 pm - Catch the fu*kin' ball Stokley! INT. Manning's night might be over (as might be offensive portion of PengoSports' LIVE BLOG).

Is Manning better than Tebus?
Only time will tell. Only. Time. Will. Tell.

655 pm - We have a Brandon Marshall sighting. Plus Elvis Dumervil just pulled a gun in the backfield and was penalized 15 yards. What a criminal. 

659 pm - FUMBLE!!! Von Miller down to the Bears' 6! 

700 pm - Henie is in. Manning is out. His final numbers, 4/7 for 44 yards and aa pick. Looked human, or like someone that hasn't played a game in quite a while. The good news is he wasn't touched. We'll do a post-game wrap so come back after the game and GO BRONCOS!

She seems to be hiding another couple
of 'footballs' under her sweater.

UPDATED 940 pm -31 - 3! Holy Hell! Your Denver Broncos, champions of the 1st game of the preseason of the world! Just quit now and fans everywhere will wonder what could have been with a team that just had the greatest preseason performance in the history of man or ape! Get these boys to the Olympics!

In the world of bear-baiting these Bears
didn't put up much of a fight.
I want my money back!

Review - 

• Manning was rusty, but better than Tebus
• the defense has a chance to be more okay than last year
• Elvis Dumervil was caught committing a couple of crimes
• Hanie is an okay backup (as long as he doesn't have to play)
• Brock Osweiler looks like he has a future against the 3rd/4th string
• Eddie Mac is better at color commentary than he is at small talk
• The Broncos have some good young running backs
• The Bears really, really, really sucked

Night all!

Manning to Broncos? UPDATED

Reports are beginning to percolate that the Broncos are interested in Peyton Manning and that Jacksonville is offering a 2nd and 5th for the Tebus. Fingers crossed here at PengoSports.  

UPDATED - Liars! Seems that every team is going to get Peyton. Dolphins, Redskins and Jets highest on the bullsh*t list. 

UP-UPDATED - Yes. We know how the story ended. Superbowl? Ha. They are still the Broncos. Even without Tebus they will screw it up.

Someone Doesn't Like The Tebow

Tebowing (vb) the act of calling attention to oneself while supposedly giving glory to a higher power.

From a few weeks back in the Hooters' men's room (over urinal #3). Seems someone didn't like Tim Tebow, or at least this photo of Tebow:

Look out! Something is trying to get in your mouth!
Pray it away! Pray it away!

The Big Guy is not amused.

Now let's wander into the sunset with some images from the PengoSports Tebowing gallery:

Tebowing

Tebowing after killing a great, big snake

A cowboy Tebowing 
but still ready to come up guns-a-blazin'!
 

A Catholic "Tebowing". Nice try Papist!

Poor kids would like to watch the Tebow 
but can't afford a TV (or a place to live).

Matthew 6:6 - But you, when you pray, enter into your room, 
and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly. 

TOUCHDOWN! YES! BRONCOOOOOOOOS!

 

 

Broncos Got Jobbed

Tim Tebow and the Broncos got jobbed on the last play of the game against the Chargers on Sunday. Jobbed we say. J-O-B-B-E-D. The Broncos should have had one more play, from the one yard line, after the blatant pass interference penalty, not called, against San Diego cornerback Dante Hughes, #33, when he pushed Matthew Willis, #12, clean out the back of the end zone while the ball was in the air. Cheater.

Would the Broncos have scored? Probably not. They are the Broncos you know, although it was Timmy Jesus in the game instead of Mr. Fieldgoal, Kyle Orten, so Denver would have at least had a chance scoring the TD and winning the game.

Full video from NFL.com

The jobbing begins at about 45 seconds

Tebow has earned another start. Adapt the offense to his strengths, all plays out of the shotgun and roll the pocket to give him a better view of the play as it develops, and let Timmy be Timmy. Either he'll lead the Broncos out of the desert and his legion of followers will rejoice in his glory. Or he'll suck and they will have to shut the hell up and find a new messiah to claim is being crucified for his beliefs and not for lack of the proper skill set in the job that he is trying to win.

And lest you think we here are anti-Tebow because he is a Christian, PengoSports believes that you will not find a stronger leader, with better character in sports today than Tim Tebow. He seems to be a great kid who is genuine and a wonderful roll model. We just do not like his throwing motion and believe that will be the only thing that prevents him from becoming an elite quarterback in the league. He could worship clowns for all we care as long as the Broncos start winning again. 

You Suck Field at Mile High

Invesco Field at Mile High. Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Greedy Clueless Bast*rds Field at Mile High. Choke on a Bowl of D*cks Field at Mile High. Take you pick. They all suck. Suck donkeys (see what we did there?).

Bears Stadium was build in 1948 to house Denver's minor league baseball team the Bears and thus, correctly named, Bears Stadium. The Broncos were born in 1960 and played in Bears Stadium while usually playing like dogs until 1969 when the city of Denver took over the facility and it was re-named Mile High Stadium (cause, you know Denver is a mile above sea level and when you hear the name mentioned you think of Denver and not an investment fund, or a sporting goods store). From that date until the venue's last game in December of the 2000 season the Broncos had the pretty impressive home record of 171-68-5 for a .711 winning percentage. After which they move into a bigger, and crappier stadium named Invesco Field at Mile High and began the long downward slide into suck once again.


What we can surmise from this is that unless the Broncos play in a stadium named Mile High, and only Mile High, they will be losers. Well, at least they won a couple of Super Bowls back in the day. Thanks for that, for whatever that's worth as*holes.

1968. Bears Stadium. Just a year before the birth of Mile High

South Stands, check. West Stands, check. The rest? Not just yet.

It would be nice if they, the Stadium District and the Broncos, had not whored out and sold the naming rights. The people in the six county district did pony up quite a bit of dough to build the fu*ker so it should have been named what THEY wanted.

 Not quite an Angry Mob. More of a Dissatisfied Mass.

Cobras Get McDaniels

(Here is the PengoSport take on Shanahan's firing in December of 2008. It pretty much works as written for McDaniels except for a few bits here and there):

In a stunning development the Denver Broncos owner, Pat Bowlen, pushed Mike Shanahan Josh McDaniels into a cobra pit on Tuesday afternoon effectively ended his reign as head coach, king and chief fu*k up of the under-performing team .

Shanahan lead the Broncos to two Super Bowl titles in his 14 year tenure as coach, but floundered greatly after his personal muse, and the franchise's true leader, John Elway retired in 1999. The "Mastermind" tried to deflect blame for years by hiring and firing countless coaches and signing and cutting so many worthless players that the team became a metaphor for choking down the stretch (they really Broncoed that ending!). McDaniels won a few games to start and then spiraled into a vortex of suck so bad that he was fired before the end of his 2nd season.

We fans thank Coach Shanahan McDaniels for the Super Bowl wins nothing but and it was time for a change. Sorry it had to be cobras but you had been warned throughout the season so cobras it was. Good luck with the Browns, or Jets, or Chiefs, or Lions, or wherever the Patriots (just don't start winning at Mile High once you are gone you bastard! You made such a nice habit of losing there the last few years).

Now a note to Pat Bowlen, don't fu*k this up! Spend the coin and hire Cowher! Give him the control he wants and get him in here! Shananhan was a pretty good coach McDaniels was a pretty bad coach and if you try to replace him with some worthless college fu*k or a has-been piece of sh*t NFL retread you can just go ahead and get fu*ked! OK? Thank you. As*hole (Invesco Field. You'll always be a cu*t for that one. Make it Cowher and Mile High and you can wear that girl-coat of yours again and we promise not to make fun of you rich ass. I mean it, we promise!).

Hey Josh! Try Some ex-lax, I Hear It Gives You the Runs

So those fu*k-tard-tastic Denver Broncos won a game. Wooooooo! PengoSports had a post planned for last Sunday titled, "A Sunday of Suck", to discuss the Broncos and Rockies incredible day, but the booze from the Grand Final Party was still having it's way with us. So you have to settle for a bitch filled rant about a pretty good win. Here we go...

Peyton Hillis running in Cleveland's juggernaut offense.

RUN! FORREST! RUN! Dammit! We said run! Don't just fall down now! RUN! Sh*t.

Moreno, Malrony, Buckholder, White, Humphries, Wilhite, Keyworth, anyone? ANYONE? To be fair it doesn't look like the O-line could run block their way out of an old-folks home. Granted they were giving Orton good protection, WERE! 6 sacks later and all we can say is, "YOU SUCK!".

Even with no one on defense this running play lost 3 yards.

The Broncos are 2-2, but could easily be 4-0, 3-1 or 1-3 (thanks to the Seahawks for being so bad that everyone can look back on that game and say it could only have been a win).

Dying of heat exhaustion in Jacksonville. The Tebow was not the college flavored Timbo, but the new and not so great pro-version and could do nothing. Loss. Should have won, but loss. Denver does not play well in Florida.

Win against Seattle.

Indy. Indy. Indy. Chr*st! They had that no good bastard Manning dead and buried and let him go by butchering nearly every attempt in the RedZone (still the best channel in the history of mankind!). ARRRRRRGGGH!

Tennessee. It was a good win. Hopefully it super-pissed off that cheap-shot team, their cheap-shot teaching coaches (middle-finger to everyone!) and their hillbilly fans:

Titan's D-Coordinator, Chuck Cecil, counts to one
( and pays out $40,000).

Now it's on to Baltimore and them murderin' thug Ravins. Um. This will be a loss, there will be no running game again and Kyle Orton will probably die. Rock on Broncos! Rock on!

Hey. It's the Ravin's D just a waitin' for Kyle Orton.