Jump Around!

Mascot school final exams are coming up and it looks like all the boys in the bullpen are going to graduate!

Thursday, August 27

Friday, August 28th

Good luck Chicken! Good luck Phanatic! Good luck Giant Sausage! Our nation's mascot future is in good hands.

Hulk Like Footy

The Greatest Pre-Game Speech Ever!

The US team was fresh off the 4-3 Miracle on Ice defeat of the USSR and needed to beat Finland to win the Gold in the 1980 Olympics. Does Herbie congratulate them? Does Herbie tell them to go out there and have fun? No! Herbie punches them right in the knobs! Talk about summing it up in just a few words. It would have been an honor to play for that man.

Talk About Intense!

Rugby League in Australia. State of Origin is a 3 game, in season, all star series between players from New South Wales and Queensland. It is teammate vs teammate. Friend vs friend. To play for your state in Origin means more to the players than any championship game. It is intense. It is awesome! It is war! It is Origin football!

He Called Us Names!

Another great locker room speech.
And yes, the answer is Jebus.

Do You Like the Soccer?

What the hell is wrong with you?! Oh well. I guess it's OK that you're that way. Live and let live is what we say. And if you like the soccer you'll probably be wanting to watch the Mexico v USA qualifier on August 12th won't you? Sad thing is that unless you happen to be named Kreskin you'll need a divining rod and a bag of apples to find it!

The douches that be at USA Soccer!

Soccer, the Nancy-boy sport extraordinaire, has made the brilliant choice to air Wednesday's English language broadcast of the Mexico v USA World Cup qualifier on some sh*thole channel called mun2, owned by NBC Universal and an offshoot of Telemundo (moon dos, get it? It's funny Spanish for world). Way to go USA Soccer! The biggest game of the the year and you license it to a channel that only Latinos know exists! Hope you got a sh*tload of cash for that bit of marketing genius because it is not going to do squat to help the grow of the game in mainstream America! The game is being carried in Spanish on Telemundo, the big brother of mun2, so the Mexico fans already have a platform to watch the match while the USA supporters will be cursing and meandering all over the dial, ESPN, ESPN2 Fox Soccer, O is for Oprah, etc..., only to find fu*k all and get more disillusioned about the already lame sport.

Fear not fans! PengoSports is always ready with the knowledge:

mun2 - Comcast channel 282 in Colorado Springs
DirectTV channel 410
Dish Network channel 838

Comcast customers in the Denver Metro area, NO mun2 for you!

Mexico v USA! Plus bears!

Game time is Wednesday, August 12 @ 2:00 PM MDT.

Azteca Stadium in Mexico City is a hellhole for the US to play in (the fans throw baggies of urine at the players! Baggies?! Can't they afford fu*kin' water ballons! Show some class as*holes!). The US National team has only managed 1 tie and a sh*tload of losses in the last thousand years. Doesn't look good for the boys in red, white and blue. So, they'll just have to hike up their skirts, wear their best heels and put on their faces, the time for losin' is over! The time to go and kick some pig flu infected ass is upon them!

They had to pee real bad. Now let's throw it at Donovan!

Oh Mister Grant!

Asner, Knotts, some chick, a mule and the "Oyage!!" guy!

Who out there can't help but tear up at the thought of the greatest sports movie of all time (that involved a field goal kicking mule)? God Gus was great! Oyage! Oyage indeed!