Gack! What the Hell is That(s)?

What a home stand. We have been entertained by...

...the World Famous Tacoma Disc-O-Crats:

The only thing missing was a flying dog.

I shall throw...

...and I shall catch!

...then we had this thing showed up for a game...

Hey look, it's Teen Wolf!

Never mind. It's just Lame Wolf.

...and this thing...

Just askin' for a beatin'.

...and finally, this thing:

Holy Lord! Kill it! Kill it with fire!

Sweep us out of here Sandman!

You Suck Field at Mile High

Invesco Field at Mile High. Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Greedy Clueless Bast*rds Field at Mile High. Choke on a Bowl of D*cks Field at Mile High. Take you pick. They all suck. Suck donkeys (see what we did there?).

Bears Stadium was build in 1948 to house Denver's minor league baseball team the Bears and thus, correctly named, Bears Stadium. The Broncos were born in 1960 and played in Bears Stadium while usually playing like dogs until 1969 when the city of Denver took over the facility and it was re-named Mile High Stadium (cause, you know Denver is a mile above sea level and when you hear the name mentioned you think of Denver and not an investment fund, or a sporting goods store). From that date until the venue's last game in December of the 2000 season the Broncos had the pretty impressive home record of 171-68-5 for a .711 winning percentage. After which they move into a bigger, and crappier stadium named Invesco Field at Mile High and began the long downward slide into suck once again.


What we can surmise from this is that unless the Broncos play in a stadium named Mile High, and only Mile High, they will be losers. Well, at least they won a couple of Super Bowls back in the day. Thanks for that, for whatever that's worth as*holes.

1968. Bears Stadium. Just a year before the birth of Mile High

South Stands, check. West Stands, check. The rest? Not just yet.

It would be nice if they, the Stadium District and the Broncos, had not whored out and sold the naming rights. The people in the six county district did pony up quite a bit of dough to build the fu*ker so it should have been named what THEY wanted.

 Not quite an Angry Mob. More of a Dissatisfied Mass.

They Will Lay Their Babies In Your Brain

St. Louis Cardnals' left fielder, and a PengoSports personal favorite, Matt Holliday had a moth fly into his ear during the 8th inning of last night's game against the Dodgers. He left the field and they have to use a "utensil" to get the still living moth out of his ear (read about it here). 

Gaaaadds! We just know that thing laid eggs on his brain and Matt will be afflicted with the "crazy" for the rest of the season. And he is was one of the really good guys in pro sports. Now with the bug larvae crawling around in his head he'll probably turn out like the rest of the recently infected. You know, Carlos Zambrano and Albert Haynesworth.

Future Matt playing "left field"

Good luck Matt. Maybe your Crazy Train will turn out like Ozzy's (both Ozzy Osborn and Ozzie Guillen) and not Carlos' and Albert's.

On a related note, Sky Sox infielder Jorge Cantu had a large black widow egg sack on his neck in Sunday's game. We don't want to be around when that thing hatches. Having an advanced degree in Spiderology, we here at PengoSports have found that fire works the best on spiders. Lots and lots of fire. Oh, and screaming. Yeah, lots of that too.

Colonel Prime Time

Deion Sanders' Hall of Fame bust...

 ...looks like it was carved by Cho Man Chin from M*A*S*H.

The master himself, Cho Man Chin

  Some of Cho's other famous works:

Cho's "I Am Colonel Potter"

"Good Luck Sleeping Tonight"

 And he probably created this:

The  infamous "Teddy Roosevelt Taking a Big Dump"

Vive la Cho!

Bullpens. The Domain of the Hipster.

Visitor's bullpen circa 2005.
If you dressed well that means you'll play well.
(This dress code is still strictly enforced).

The chance to build a Rube Goldberg machine
brings out the inner-engineers in every bullpen.
These boys just launched a rabbit into the "FunZone"!

Baseball bullpens have forever been the domain of the Bohemian element in the game.  The visitor's bullpen at Sky Sox Stadium takes this groove to a whole new level. This ball yard haunt where hipsters, artists and general layabouts can let down their hair and shout to the world, "I am me! I like me! I really, really like me!" Well, good on you freak. Someone has to keep on liking you.

Tiny cap = HIPSTER.

Bullpen life is full of PBR, 

Cool brand cigarettes 

and talking about things 

that you probably haven't heard of.

In the past, the boys in the bullpen would earn a few extra dollars boxing and grappling   to amused throngs of hometown fans and greedy bookies.

Taking a well deserved rest after a couple of rounds of fisticuffs.

Today's ballplayers are not allowed to sit on the ground, 

"too unprofessional" according to the umpires 

(and Ferdie Pacheco, the Fight Doctor).

Let's keep it 'professional'!

...Parade floats and marching are also banned...

...But, for some reason, this is not only allowed, 

but encouraged by the men in blue.

Eliezer Alfonzo Day!

On June 18, 2011 Sky Sox Stadium played host to Eliezer Alfonzo Day. The Venezuelan journeyman catcher was surprised by his best friend, and baseball mentor, Billy Ray Cyrus who serenaded him with a medley of Latin hits and then belted out the National Anthem in front a crowd of 5373 confused and bewildered fans.

International superstar Billy Ray Cyrus' 

is overshadowed by Alfonzo's magical grip 

on the adoring media.

Dreamy Billy Ray. Dreamy Eliezer.
Somebody has a couple of admirers.

 The onlookers were entertained with the 

traditional Venezuelan Silly-Hat Chair Dance.

Everyone joined in. 

Include members of the Sky Sox front office.

And here is the man of the hour, 

catcher/salsa dancer extraordinaire,

Aliezer Alfonzo!

FONZIE! FONZIE!! FONZIE!!!

He then wrasled a bear to close the ceremonies.

It was a night that will be long remembered by all that attended. We are all better people for having witnessed it.