PengoSports does actually enjoy the soccer. We really do. Really! But they make it so easy to rip on them. Hell, just look at France. Or, or, well most soccer teams do seem to have a "not so fresh moment" every game don't they? Don't they?! Thought so. And now for your viewing enjoyment:
Come on soccer. Are you just gonna lay there and take that?
You are? Well, hopefully this will make you feel better:
The dude with the pit bull, Jonny Wilkerson, hero for England's 2003 Rugby World Cup championship team.
And this ad may be for rugby, or soccer or just kicking:
Thank you. Just thought that needed to be said. Now you can all go back to your soccer watchin'.
First open this link in a new tab and let it play in the backgroud: Vuvuzelas
Ahhhhh! The sweet sound of, of, of, oh, screw it! It's just the sound of a sh*tload of annoying little fu#ks with plastic horns. It just screams SOCCER! Doesn't it?
Soccer. The World's Game!
It's World Cup time and that means PengoSports, PengoFans, PengoReporters and just general Pengos will be in PengoHeaven every day for a month! It's PengoRiffic! (for the rest of you, WELCOME TO HELL!).
The big news! USA beats England 1-1!!! Yeah us! Yeah.
England attacks the USA defensive zone in exciting soccer action!
It was a terrible game. Just terrible. But the US tied the bloody Brits and took an undeserved point so they still have hope, until they choke against Slovenia and/or Algeria, to advance to the knockout stage, where, if they advance, they will be knocked out early. Success for the USA is to make it to this stage, not to win the whole damn thing, and that is one of the reason soccer fails in this country. Americans understand winning and losing, not ties. If we can't win the whole thing why care? So, with that said, World Cup fever has gripped the nation and the vast majority of the populous is frantically looking for some ibuprofen to help get rid of the annoying ache and resume watching NASCAR, or basketball, or baseball, or the dog rub its ass on the carpet, anything but soccer.
Even a stinkin' cat can see that the goal keeper totally cocked that up.
Heh. Heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh! It says, "DONG".
I get it. Actually I don't. What is this product "DONG" and why advertise it at a soccer match? (It does seem the perfect sponsor for the sport). PengoSports could use the internets to see that DONG is an energy company out of Denmark and that is not that funny (energy companies, as a rule, are not humorous. Maybe if they were a subsidiary of WANG Computers, or Siemens Medical, now that would be a laugh riot, but they are not, so it's not.) So, we here at PengoSports have decided that "DONG" means wiener and those crazy Danes are really, really into wieners. Funny. Let CSI Copenhagen know this case is now closed.
And speaking of DONGs, here's a little something from our friends at The Onion:
Hey look! It's a shot of a play at the plate! I love these, oh, wait. What the hell is that dangling down on the catcher? Aww, sh*t!!! Thanks for ruining my shot douche (not really. The catcher, who's shall remain nameless, to protect his privacy, is a good guy and is OK in PengoSports' book!).
Click on photo to see the "cup" in action!
Oh well. He was out and that's what really counts (Liar! The photo is the only thing that counts! Who wants to see a cup?).
Watch out! Good thing you covered those nuts or this squirrel could be deadly!
