This Is A Thing? Really?

The Jesus-looking dude?
Not here. Check below.

Ran across a great story a couple of weeks back where a Jesus-looking dude (J-LD from now on) got tossed out of a darts tournament for looking too much like Jesus thus sending the drunken crowd into a frenzy of chants, taunts and heckling to the point of distracting the professional dart players, Phil "The Power" Taylor and Kim "The Hurricane" Huybrechts. Here are the videos of J-LD getting the boot:

First they sang, "Stand Up If You Love Jesus"

Then to the chants of "Jesus. Jesus. Jesus."
Elvis left the building.

Read the J-LD story here. When we read that the crowd numbered over 4000 it got us wondering what in the Wide, Wide World of Sports was up with professional dart tournaments and what in the hell would possess that many someones to pay good money to watch a couple of fat dudes toss darts. And, holy hell! We found out this darts thing is huge!  HUGE!

Here's Phil "The Power" Taylor's walkon.
Do they also talk sh*t like wrestlers do?
God! We hope so! Though we haven't found any video of it yet.

A modern era record crowd of over 9500 are whipped into a
frenzy at Dublin's O2 Arena at a Premier League of Darts event.

It's like a fu*king WWE event! Dart tournaments + 80oz pitchers of beer = bored drunks and we guess um, fun? It does look like everyone is having a really, really good time and maybe it's not just the beer. So good on them! Next up? The Premier League of JARTS!!!

Beer and large, metal darts!
What could ever go wrong?!

As kids we use to throw them over the house to each other.
You learn fear fast when you see
one of these bastards screaming down at you.

 Maybe that's why they banned them.

We Want Our F***ing Hockey

Here's a great video. Watch it.

We miss the NHL. Not the asshats like Gary Bettman, but the game, the players and the passion. Here's a good read about what a bunch of dicks Bettman and the rest of the owners are. This mess is their fault and their fault alone. No forgiveness for them. Ever. Fu*k 'em. Better yet, tax 'em. That'll piss them off good.

On a positive note the World Junior Championships are starting this week. Games to be shown on the NHL Network (Russia is hosting this year's championship. Hence the very early starting times).

Players are 19 & under. Future NHL'ers.

 Go USA! Go great hockey!

The Sky Sox New Manager Is...

...Glenallen Hill, the Rockies 1st base coach for the last 7 years.

We don't have a picture of Glenallen Hill so we found
this one of a young girl working in Glenallen Mill
in Winchendon, Massachusetts.

From Glenallen's Wikipedia page comes this gem, "Hill batted and threw right-handed. Hill was also infamous for his defensive escapades, which were once described by then-Mariners pitching coach Bryan Price as "akin to watching a gaffed haddock surface for air." He has also been referred to as The Juggler because he would struggle to hold onto a ball when he caught one."

It's a gaffed cod, not a haddock, but close enough.

PengoSports may have campaigned for Sal Fasano, but damn! That's pretty entertaining stuff! 

We have also been a fan of Hill's ever since 1990 when he went on the DL for once of the best injury stories out there:

click to embiggen

  Dude, we aren't a fan of spiders either. This story alone makes you okay in our book.

The answer is NO! HELL NO!
And now she's on the DL too.

Along with the new manager Hill, Dave Hajek was named the new hitting coach. He was in the same position with Tulsa last year and played with the Sky Sox in 1999, hitting .295/8/58 in 127 games. Welcome Glenallen and Dave! Good luck in 2013!

Baseball Card Vandals

All you need is an Tumblr account, a Sharpie and some crappy old baseball cards and you've got yourself some interwebs fame!

Check out the rest at baseballcardvandals.com

MLS Cup!

What cha doing today? Huh? Oh, watching college football. Yeah, I guess that's cool. But if you want to be really cool, really, really cool, how about watching FRECKIN' MLS CUP ON ESPN @ 230PM?!

Damn! That David Beckham sure dresses like a pimp!

This year's epic clash features the David Beckham led Los Angeles Galaxy hosting the Houston Dynamo and whoever leads them. This will be Beckham's last game for the Galaxy, he's off to Australia, or China, or wherever, to ply his aging trade. He'll be back though. He wants to own a team (St. Louis?) and has to cash to pull it off. God speed Becks!

Australian A-League soccer! Where the rules are a bit different!
Becks future home? We can only hope.

And...and...and best of all? No crap-tastic half-time extravaganza! Thank Christ! Enough of this bullshit! I came to see a game, not a concert, as expressed in the following garbage from last week's Grey Cup:

Gordan Lightfoot. He did not suck.
He went first and on a different stage
and got the hell out of there before this...

Marianas Trench.
Named after the only thing on Earth
that could hold the vast amount of suck that they suck.

Hadn't heard of Marianas Trench before the Grey Cup,
doubt I'll hear of Marianas Trench after the Grey Cup.

Next up, Carly Rae Jepsen. Two songs.
A sucky one I haven't heard...

...that she tried to sing without auto-tune...
sorry, as much as I hate auto-tune,
this girl needs auto-tune.

Just look at them fired-up Canadians calling for Carly, maybe.

And here comes the walking turd sandwich Justin Bieber!

Sporting some ink. Gives him a little more 'street cred'.

Didn't Canada use to have talented people they exported to the US?

So huzzah! to Major League Soccer for excising the garbage and now all we'll have to listen to is the chuckleheads break down the non-action in the 1st half. Not that I'm complaining.

Look at that MLS Cup!
It's HUGE!

Although this is more likely the 'true' MLS Cup.
It's NOT huge.

A Mustache Shall Lead Us

Here is our Sal Fasano for manager of the Sky Sox campaign poster. We know it ain't going to happen but at least we can dream.

What To Watch Today?

Duh!? The Grey Cup on NBC Sports Network @ 400pm MST! Calgary taking on Toronto from the Sky Dome! Canada at its non-hockey finest!

Just look at them Stampeders jumping over the Argonauts!

Oh, yeah, the Broncos are on right now vs KC on CBS (or the NFL RedZone, the only way to watch football in 2012).

Enjoying the Broncos! And later the Grey Cup!
What a country! Or two countries!

The Sky Sox New Manager Should Be...

This managing stuff, is it hard?
Nope. It ain't rocket science.

Stu Cole got the call and will be spending his 2013 in the 3rd base coach's box for the Colorado Rockies. Congrats Stu!

The sun is shinyer in the big leagues!

Tagging alone with Stu will be the Sox hitting instructor Rene Lachemann. Lach will be hanging out in the 1st base coach's box, yelling stuff and frightening children (read all about it here).

"Don't be lying to me! Understand?!"
We'll miss you Lach!

So that leaves us wondering who'll get the gig with the Sox? Smart money is on Duane Espy, the manager with the Rockies AA affiliate Tulsa Drillers. The Rocks like to promote from within and no one will be surprised if Espy is named. But who should the Rockies pick to manage in Colorado Springs? Our first thought was Jason Giambi. Awesome guy, connected with players while he was down here, knows the game and would make a great coach/manager. But wait you say! He doesn't have any experience coaching or managing! Really? Managing is just keeping the clubhouse on an even keel. Any chimp can do a double switch, contrary to what purist chuckleheads say, so a good manager just needs to be a leader. A good leader. And Giambi is that indeed.

The Giambino would bring professionalism,
and media attention to the Sky Sox...

...plus, he's a really, really good dude.

Then we got to thinking that as good Giambi would be, there may just be a better choice out there. Someone with experience managing at the minor league level, someone that played for the Sky Sox and is also one heck of a good human being, someone named Sal Fasano. 

How awesome would it be if this man
was named the next manager of the
Colorado Springs Sky Sox?

Sal has managed the last two years in the Blue Jays organization, A ball in 2010 and AA in 2011. And Fasano won AA Manger of the Year when he lead the New Hampshire Fisher Cats to an Eastern League championship. So the dude's got skills. Mad phat skillz!

Sal Fasano.
One of the truly good guys in sport.

The biggest problem with Sal is that he thinks he got screwed when he was here in 2009 (read about it here). And I can't really disagree with him. But 2012 is a different time and maybe, just maybe we can dream a little bit about making right past wrongs and seeing Sal Fasano in a Sky Sox uniform with a smile on his face and a lineup card in his hand.

Stamps! Argos! Grey Cup!

It's on! The Calgary Stampeders will take on the Toronto Argonauts in the 100th Grey Cup next Sunday, November 25th, at the Sky Dome in Toronto!

Look at how HUGE the Grey Cup is!
It's HUGE! HUGE!!!
How will they lift it?!

There will be Mounties to welcome and protect you! And other Canadian stuff, you know, like maple syrup, toques, mooses, beavers, back bacon and donuts from Tim Horton's!

Watch the Grey Cup! Eh!

The pre-game starts at 400pm MST on NBC Sports Network (Comcast 56/DirectTV 220/Dish 159) with Canadians Burton Cummings and Johnny Reid headlining (I honestly have no idea who either of these guys are) and Justin Bieber (I love this clip!)...

...Carly Rae Jepsen (the chick that sings that annoying Call Me Maybe song), Marianas Trench (again, no idea) and Gordon Lightfoot (to capture the Great Lakes shipping disaster fan demo) doing something during the half-time show thingy.

Half time entertainment!
Canadian Style!

So watch it eh? The Broncos v Chiefs game is at 1100am, so it'll be long over by 400pm and the afternoon NFL games are just a sackful of suck anyways.Tell them PengoSports sent you!

The Canadamoblie will welcome the world
to the magic that is the Grey Cup.

Eat of Bowl of Dicks Award #2

PengoSports is not proud to present its
"Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award"
to the NHL, Gary Bettman and every NHL owner.
Congrats assholes. Hope you choke on every last bite.

As you may know, PengoSports loves the hockey. PengoSports loves the NHL hockey. And PengoSports thinks the NHL playoffs are the greatest 6 weeks in sport. Pure awesome! Just a great game played by incredible athletes. That said, we're done. No more. This lock out has finished us. The League, you know, the owners that pull Gary Bettman's puppet strings, are all a bunch of corrupt, greedy, incompetent bastards and don't deserve our support. That means no more going to games, buying merchandise or watching on TV. Nope. Goodbye, you suck and eat a bowl of dicks you feckless pieces of shit.

Hey, lookie here! It's Gary Bettman and the NHL owners.
The greatest assemblage of ass-hats, douchebags
and rectal thermometers this world has ever seen.

After shutting down an entire season in 2004 to get the financial model they wanted the owners came back this time saying they needed more of the same things. IT WAS YOUR AGREEMENT IN 2005 ASSHOLES! The players didn't win! You won! The league is also making a lot more revenue today. A lot. The players are willing to work with you but the League always wants more, more more. Enough. I don't watch the game for the owners. I don't watch the game for Bettman. I watch the game for the game itself and the great athletes that play it as a TEAM. Hockey is the ultimate team sports. 4 lines, 3 D pairs and a strong presence in net. Bettman's not out there taking a shift. If a team is losing money most likely it is due to the moronic contracts the TEAMS paid out to the players and poor management, not the players. Screw you bastards. Dammit!

The owners present their latest offer.
Hope they don't 'draw mud'

So are we giving up on hockey? HELL NO! We are giving up on NHL hockey. PengoSportsis going back to the roots of the game. We'll go to Colorado College games at the World Arena; Air Force hockey games at the Cadet Ice Arena; Denver Cutthroats CHL games at the Denver Coliseum; even some high school, pond, inline and floor hockey games. We'll get our hockey and keep most of our money. And the money we spend will go to help the lower levels of the game.

Colorado College plays at the World Arena.
Tickets are reasonable, the team is good and
they don't have a fu*kin' owner to screw shit up.

CC/DU. One of the great rivalries in hockey.
Tough ticket, but worth it. Find a way to see a game.

Air Force hockey. They play the game the right way.
Tickets are cheap, games are close and you are
a great American for supporting this hockey team.

Screw you NHL! Choke on a big-asses bowl of dicks!

Don't Be That Guy

Hey Bronco Fans! If you are going to display the team logo don't be 'that guy' that butchers putting the horsehead and it ends up installed at a hella goofy angle:

Dude. This has been up for a long time.
You'd think once you found out you put it up wrong you'd fix it.
Nope.

Saw this on a car a couple of days ago.
Really? You have a helmet sticker on the other side.
Didn't you take a peek to see how it was suppose to look.

How the logo should be displayed.

While we're at it let's just go back to this logo:

Sharp. Damn sharp.

 What d'ya say baby food jar Bronco family?

Let's goooooo Broncoooooos.
Let's go Broncos. LET'S GO!

PengoSports solution? Just don't put up a logo.

Where Wee Smalls Jets Once Roamed Free

Hey! Didn't you use to hang out at Falcon Stadium?

Any one out there that's a long-time Air Force Falcon football fan? Do you remember something like the the plane in the above photo at Falcon Stadium? I swear there were others too. Small replicas of a F-4, F-15, F-16 & Space Shuttle that use to putter about in the South end zone during games? I can only find vague Sasquatchesque photos of the damn things and want to confirm that I didn't dream up the whole, wonderful thing.

Nose of a F-15 peeking out behind a
Eric Faison INT against Navy in 1990.

Tail fins of a F-15 in this old school Falcons photo.

The sidelines now are domain of photographers, military brass and other hangers-on. It'd be a nice distraction to see one of us get run down by a little jet every now and then. You know, for the kids? Just sayin'.