Rainy Days and Mondays

Rain tonight. Lots and lots of rain... 

Not tonight's rain. But heavy rain is heavy rain.
A PengoSports file photo of what rain looks like.

...and some Fresno players came out and took photos and video of the approaching storm(s):

"See. That dark thing is called a storm cloud
and the bright, steaky stuff is called 'lightning'."

"What the hell is this stuff?!"
"It is called 'rain'. And it is made of 'water'.
And it can make witches melt!"

Forecast is for more rain tomorrow. But that's okay because Rudy's is the press meal. Nothing beats a rain delay like a good brisket. 

Rudy's BBQ and a rain delay.
If you're happy and you know it...
eat too much!

And now a few more mullets...Because we can.

Billy Ray Cyrus.
From the Eliezer Alfonzo Day celebrations.

TULO!
From 2010's 'Tulo Stink-Eye Skullet' promo

And here's G-Dirt once again modeling his new and exciting look:

I think we've found our winner!

How about it boys?

           NO.                         COOL.            MATT DAMON!

Stuff!

 Just a random collection of bullpen shots. Oh. And a mullet.

The saddest bullpen. Salt Lake Bees.

The saddest man in the saddest bullpen. Francisco Rodriguez.

The 'If it comes to me I'll catch it, but I'm not moving' 
& a couple of cowards bullpen. Tacoma Rainiers.

Two dudes chillin', kids spazzin'
and everyone else freakin' out bullpen!
Fresno Grizzlies.

If no one will play with Edgmer.
Edgmer will play with himself bullpen.
Our own Sky Sox.

And finally, G said he likes mullets. So mullet him up we did.

Big G! Sportin' his mullet.

Lookin' good G-Dirt! Lookin' real good!

What's Cool with Drew?
G's doo!
That's cool with Drew!

Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award

Hey! The Olympics are here again and NBC and its minion substations are butchering the coverage just like they did with Vancouver, Beijing, Turin, Athens, Salt Lake City, Sydney and on and on and on and on...

Yes, it will be in color. No. It will not be LIVE. EVER!

I watched part of BBC's coverage of the opening ceremonies LIVE, yes really LIVE, on the interwebs. It was um, kind of understated, you know? British. The announcers pretty much let the freak show that is any opening ceremony speak for itself and filled in here and there to flesh out the bits and bobs. And you know what? I stopped thinking about how bizarre and overboard the show was and, wait for it, kind of, sort of, enjoyed it. 

Like the Olympics, except not as freaky. Photo - Carol M. Highsmith

...And here comes the team from East Dickezstan.

Then, later that night, I was checking out NBC's NOT LIVE coverage with presiding chuckleheads Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira, Bob Costas and a slew of other talking turds Kamikazing the show straight down to the lowest common denominator . Hosts are usually annoying, but after watching the BBC's coverage? F*ck these guys! Kay-riste! All I kept thinking was, "shut up! Shut up!! Shut up!!!" and I so, so wanted one of those Star Trek Wrath of Khan ear creatures to eat my brain. KHAAAN!

LAUER!!! COSTAAAAS!!!

So in honor of the Peacock network's wonderful past, present and future coverage of the Olympics and other 'LIVE' events (hell, even when an event is shown 'LIVE' on the East Coast those assholes often delay the feed for us in the Mountain & Pacific Time Zones) I present PengoSports' Eat of Bowl of Dicks Award to the National Broadcasting Company:

The PengoSports' 'Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award'

Bon appetit!

Over the 'Edg' - UPDATED

Colorado Springs leading the Reno Aces 11-8 in the bottom of the 7th. Reno had just put 6 runs up in the top of the inning and with their history of comebacks against the Sox things were being to look iffy. 

Brendan Harris flies to right for the 1st out and now Sky Sox reliever Edgmer Escalona comes to the plate against Aces' reliever Joe Patterson. Should be a quick out. In 3 major league plate appearances with the Rockies he is 0-3 with 3 K's. In 3 career minor league plate appearances he was 0-3 with 3 K's. Escalona takes ball one. He takes strike one. It doesn't look like he even wants to swing, but there is something in the air. Again, there's always something in the air when Edgmer is in the game. Whether he's hitting, pitching or just wandering around (and he does wander around a lot). That something, whatever it is, just seems to follow him. So, here comes the 3rd pitch, a fastball down the middle, and low and behold Edgmer crushes it, I mean just crushes it, for a no doubter over the left-field wall:

Escalona swings? And...

..."I don't believe what I just saw."

First career homer! Hell, first career hit. Double-Hell, first career contact that goes into fair territory. And does he humbly lower his head and just run around the bases? Not our Edgmer! He throws his hands in the air and watches the ball travel out of site (I was so in shock about him getting a hit I stopped shooting for a second and missed capturing the throwing of the hands) and then jumps, hops and skips his way toward 1st base:

0-6 with 6 K's turns into 1-7, 6 K's and a bomb...

...so now I can STRUT!

As Edgmer rounds the bases Reno is chirping. Joe Patterson is chirping. Aces' manager Bret Butler is chirping (Reno is the team that complained and got Escalona suspended for 8 games for having things and stuff on his person while pitching, so there is no love lost between them). 
 
'How dare you show us up!'
'What about the unwritten rules?'
'Won't someone please think of the children?'. 

Well. How about writing out those 'rules' or shutting the f*ck up? Kay-riste! Don't want a guy showing you up? How about not letting a guy who's 0 for life hit a bomb off of you? That might be a good start. UPDATED - I seemed to have totally missed that Edgmer pointed and shouted at the Reno dugout as he rounded 3rd base. In hind site I guess that would have the tendency to inflame the situation just a bit. So in regard to the above rant, never mind.

'Let me slide right in here with my own bad self!'

The patriotic bunting was there for Edgmer.
And his homer!

For Edgmer. You're golden moment enshrined forever!

Unfortunate Bat Placement

Today contestant in Unfortunate Bat Placement is Matt McBride. As all boys know, it's 'hard' to run with a 'woody'.

Kay-riste! You're going to put out an eye with that thing!

Out 5-3. Thanks for playing Mr. McBride! Please contact Tacoma pitcher, Andrew Carraway, to claim his 'Safety Spikes' as your parting gift.

Carraway's World Famous 'Safety Spikes'.
The reflective tape helps cars see you, at NIGHT!

And to answer the big debate last night:

Bowler or Derby? The correct answer was 'HAT'.

That is a John B. Stetson Derby Fur Felt Bowler Hat. Just $219.95 at the Fedora Store! Remember to order early to beat the holiday rush.

Hey Drew! That cool?
Sez Drew, "It KOOL!"

What's Cool with Drew

Play along with Sky Sox public relations intern Andrew Mitchell as we see, What's Cool with Drew!

Andrew Mitchell, Mr. Apple State, is ready to play our game. Are you?

# 1: 

Crazy Elvis? Cool with Drew?

# 2:

Stereotype Vacation Dad? Cool with Drew?

# 3:

Double rainbows? Cool with Drew?

# 4:

Donovan McCrabb, Shark Mcgwire, Bear Bonds & Dick Flytale?
Cool With Drew?

# 5:

The BoSquatch? Cool with Drew?

The correct answers are, Cool; Cool; Cool; Not Cool; and Cool. 

Thanks for playing and now here is a shot, that against all odds, contains nothing relevant in focus:

Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, bupkis is in focus in the shot.

 

Hurt Feelings

Robinson Cano got booed at the Home Run Contest. He didn't choose 
Billy Butler from Kansas City so the KC fans booed him. And the KC 
fans booed his family. They booed Cano for being a Yankee. They booed 
him for not choosing Butler. Then they cheered when he rolled a doughnut
in the contest. 

You didn't pick our guy!
How dare you pick three guys how happen to be better!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Because of all the booing the media started to whine. The players started
to whine. The union chief started to whine. Commissioner Bud Selig started 
to whine. And because of all of the whining about Kansas City booing
KC started to whine about being treated unfairly. 

Kay-riste! Now everyone has hurt feelings...

Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings - HD from cricobs on Vimeo.

You Get To Do This When You Win

Looks fun doesn't it? Just win and you're in!
Hell. You don't even need to win it all.
It seems just your division or league will do.

Dance the Night Away

Look at this guy DANCE!

Mike DeMark loves the nightlife,
He's got to boogie on the disco 'round, oh yea.

Just look at him!

Do the hoedown
(Throwdown!)
Throw it all together, that's how Mike DeMark rolls!

Reno Aces' relief pitcher, and part-time dance phenom, Mike DeMark, #34, cranks it out with the help of someone who is Not-Stephen Drew, #1, and something called Shark McGwire, #25.

Nothing says, "SUMMER!" more than dancing with
'roid -infested inflatable sharks
and your best friend who is Not-Stephen Drew!

The Mirror-Ball Trophy was within your grasp...

Mike DeMark/Not-Stephen Drew/Shark McGwire
2012 Dancing with Baseball Stars winners

...then you have to go and ruin everything by busting out the 'Worm'. The 'Worm'?!

Why Mike why? There were children present.
And service monkeys! On Service Monkey Night!
How dare you sir! HOW-DARE-YOU!
Those monkeys will never be able to serve again.

I think I'm going to be sick...

Happy Independence Day!

That round should take out Pueblo.

PengoSports wishes everyone a Happy 4th of July! Enjoy celebrating the day with your friends and family. Be safe and have fun.

The All-American Synchronized Toothbrush Squad
showing America how they celebrate the 4th!

Hey dammit! Aussie Rules, St. Kilda v Kangaroos, is on FUEL TV (Comcast 128/DirectTV 618/Dish 398) from Noon - 2pm today. Australian Football? FUEL TV? What's FUEL TV? You know. Thrillbillies; shitloads of UFC; snowboarding; surfing, more shitloads of UFC; motocross. That FUEL TV. Yeah. we know. If FUEL TV continues to carry games we'll let you know, but we can't promise that it won't replace Thrillbillies.

And now, because we care: