Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award

Hey! The Olympics are here again and NBC and its minion substations are butchering the coverage just like they did with Vancouver, Beijing, Turin, Athens, Salt Lake City, Sydney and on and on and on and on...

Yes, it will be in color. No. It will not be LIVE. EVER!

I watched part of BBC's coverage of the opening ceremonies LIVE, yes really LIVE, on the interwebs. It was um, kind of understated, you know? British. The announcers pretty much let the freak show that is any opening ceremony speak for itself and filled in here and there to flesh out the bits and bobs. And you know what? I stopped thinking about how bizarre and overboard the show was and, wait for it, kind of, sort of, enjoyed it. 

Like the Olympics, except not as freaky. Photo - Carol M. Highsmith

...And here comes the team from East Dickezstan.

Then, later that night, I was checking out NBC's NOT LIVE coverage with presiding chuckleheads Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira, Bob Costas and a slew of other talking turds Kamikazing the show straight down to the lowest common denominator . Hosts are usually annoying, but after watching the BBC's coverage? F*ck these guys! Kay-riste! All I kept thinking was, "shut up! Shut up!! Shut up!!!" and I so, so wanted one of those Star Trek Wrath of Khan ear creatures to eat my brain. KHAAAN!

LAUER!!! COSTAAAAS!!!

So in honor of the Peacock network's wonderful past, present and future coverage of the Olympics and other 'LIVE' events (hell, even when an event is shown 'LIVE' on the East Coast those assholes often delay the feed for us in the Mountain & Pacific Time Zones) I present PengoSports' Eat of Bowl of Dicks Award to the National Broadcasting Company:

The PengoSports' 'Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award'

Bon appetit!