The Bye Week Extravaganza!

The Denver Broncos used the bye week to try to entertain and amaze their fans with a "Broadway style" production of the "Denver Broncos Bye Week Extravaganza!". Lead by quarterback Jay Cutler, wide receiver Brandon Marshall and injured cornerback Champ Bailey, the 4-3 Broncos donned fancy dresses and tried to dance, dance, dance their way back into a disenchanted fan base's hearts with the hour long show at Mile High.

A crush of predominately orange dressed fans pushed into the stadium early Sunday morning hoping for a chance to view the team do something positive with their time away from football.

They were sadly disappointed. The song and dance farce fell apart soon after it began. Coach Mike Shanahan, dressed in what looked like a Harlequin costume, prepared the team well, but as usual, when it came time to perform he was hopelessly out of his element, mumbling, "Elway. Elway. Even John couldn't get this done...", as the opening lady-boy burlesque number fell flat. The Mastermind could be seen sitting in his chair, drinking heavily throughout the show.

As the Broncos players cranked up the energy in second act, a strange combination of Can't Stop the Music and A Bridge Too Far, the fans started to turn on the players. "Chr*st! I thought the defense was bad," complained long time season ticker holder Jerry Blane, "what that f*ck am I watching?"


The audience became more enraged as 1st round draft pick and left tackle Ryan Clady, dressed as the motorcycle guy from the Village People, launched an attack on the Arnhem Bridge prancing and skipping across the large stage shouting the lyrics to YMCA. "YOU SUCK, YOU BASTARDS!" screamed Kevin Waybright of Colorado Springs, "Let me leave this fu*king hell hole or so help me I will kill every last one of you worthless nancy-boys!"

The crowd began to riot before the third act and demanded the show be stopped and that the Broncos sacrifice one player to atone for the sins of this season and this "Extravaganza". The players and coaching staff escaped injury by donning fake mustaches and glasses and waltzed though the clueless throng.

"I always heard Bronco fans were dumb, but I had no idea how dumb until just now," stated a shaken Jay Cutler, "Hell, they have been rooting for this suck-hole team since Elway retired and still think we can win. If they'll do that then sneaking past them with a fake mustache is easy."

The team said it is planing further distractions as the season continues to fall apart.