What A 2-10 Season Will Do To You

The Air Force football team had the worst year in the Academy's history finishing 2-10 (one of those being a win over D-1 AA 4-8 Colgate team and the other over a 3-8 Army squad). And when you shoot a team getting blown out every other week you get kind of bored and look for something different, like these shots though the parabolic microphones that block my view from the sidelines:

The green is relaxing.
Thank you to CBS Sports Network for the chill effect

ESPN U had the amber going and it would kind of
angry up the blood, but did offer up a decent effect.

Even if nothing good is going on in the pic
it still looks pretty cool.

The team never quit. They played hard, but were just over matched and/or out coached in those 10 losses. I've been shooting Air Force for the last 3 years and I've just had the feeling that they don't know how to win (or know what to do with a lead). In games where they were the better team, were dominating early (like Michigan & Navy in 2012 and Nevada & San Diego State this year), something just didn't click and the team just fell apart and lost the game. This year you can blame the young age of the team, but last year? Not so much. Hopefully 2014 will bring better luck to the Falcons.

Goodbye Dexter - UPDATED!

The Rockies traded Dexter Fowler to the Houston Astros today for a handful of magic beans. Sometimes they just seem to want to make a trade because that's what all the cool kids are doing and don't appear to really think things through. Hell, who knows? Maybe RHP Jordan Lyles and OF Brandon Barnes will turn out to be superstars! You know? Just like almost everyone else they've ever gotten in return for a trade.

The crime solving and serial killing
will have to begin anew in Houston.

Good luck Dex...UPDATED...and now the cobras have got Drew Pomeranz!

LHP Pomeranz, the center piece in the Ubaldo Jimenez trade, got shipped off to Oakland for LHP Brett Anderson. Anderson, with a troubling history of injuries, could be a steal IF he stays healthy. And that is a GREAT BIG IF.

Pomeranz never seemed comfortable pitching. Saw him start for the Sky Sox about 20+ times and he only looked like he believed in his talent in 2 of those. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and can really let you down if you don't control it. We wish Drew luck with Oakland. Maybe he can find his groove there.

A Great Big Tomato

Broncos! Chiefs. Broncos win 35-28! Chiefs lose. And Chiefs' coach Andy Reid is dressed like a great big tomato.

La Tomatina!

Bet you Andy is ordering Italian off that menu.
La Tomatina looks hungry.

Good for Andy. Not everyone looks good in red and that was a brave decision today.

Sorry you lost today coach.
Have a fun night sharing Kool-Aid with the kids.

F-ING GREY CUP! TODAY!

Turn on NBC Sports Network (DirecTV 220, Dish 159, Comcast 55) right...about..now (kickoff between 420-430pm MST)! It's the 101st Grey Cup from Mosaic Stadium in Regina, Saskatchewan! The hometown Saskatchewan Roughriders take on th Hamilton Tiger-Cats for the a big Grey Cup! Hell yeah! Canadian Football!

Go Canadian sports teams!

As a bonus  the pop group Hedley will perform the 2013 Grey Cup halftime show and that The Sheepdogs will perform during the opening ceremonies and Serena Ryder will sing the national anthem (a great big bullshit call out to you if you nodded your head knowingly to any of these performers).

Look! It's pop group Hedley!
Whoever they are.

Grey Cup fans are really, really into The Sheepdogs.
Really. 

Plus! Regina will be about 10 degrees warmer than the COS today! So good day, eh?

Go Saskatchewan!

Enjoy the game (oh, and enjoy the mass-quantities of CFL player promo commercials! They are special. So, so special.)!

Dance Random KC Soccer Fan! Dance!

After tonight's Sporting KC victory over Houston to reach the MLS Cup this awesome, red-bearded, ski-vested, Sporting KC fan just had to dance during the post-game show on NBCSN. Oh, and dance he did:

It really looked like he was channeling his inner Rodney Dangerfield with them stylish moves:

 

So with the MLS Cup now being held at Sporting KC Park we hopefully get another chance to see his (or the ghost of Mr. Dangerfield's) bustin' his moves on December 7th at 200pm MST on ESPN proper. ENCORE! ENCORE! Sporting KC Dancin' Fan Man!

Eat Mor Falcon

For the past couple of years, while shooting Air Force football, I been obsessed with getting a picture of one of the falcon mascots inside a KFC bucket. Yes. When I dream, I dream big.

When you'se gots a big, giant head
you'se sure gets hungry.

During the Wyoming game on September 21st Cowboy Steve, or whatever the hell this freak is called, wore the above sandwich board and wanted to hangout with the falcon mascots...

GET IN MY BELLY!

...the bird-handlers didn't take the bait and all us photographers lost the chance for a pretty sweet photo.

Living like we do, in a time where giant-headed mascots can start blatantly harassing performing birds, it was only a matter of time before someone trumped my idea and took all the 'bird in a bucket' glory from me. It was time to act (and act I did thanks to Russ who got me the KFC bucket! Thanks Russ!).

Here are the Air Force Cadet falconers in happier times.

Falconer John attempts to get his
wee falcon, Howard Buzz, to chill in the KFC bucket.

Howard's in the bucket! Howard's Buzz is in the bucket!

And once the bird was set in his new bucket home all the vulture photographers started to jump my claim. Even the guy from CBS Sport Network turned his TV camera towards us (but since it was CBS Sports Network I wasn't too worried because if this pic below is what their in-stadium signage looks like how good could their camera shots be?)

Think there's some more room for tape on the bottom boys!

In the end this photo was too important to keep to myself. Smiles! Smiles everyone! Come shoot a picture of a wee bird in a fried chicken bucket! 

Thank you John!
And thank you Howard Buzz!
(for not clawing my eyes out you filthy bird!)

Shortly after this photo was taken the government shutdown ended. Perhaps all we needed to come together as a country was to see a live bird of prey standing in a KFC bucket. God Bless America!

UPDATE - The bird's name was not Howard, but Buzz. We apologize for the mix up.

Roy Speaks

The Avalanche are 6-1 under new coach, and Hockey Hall of Famer, Patrick Roy. Color us a bit surprised. We thought his intensity wouldn't play in the locker room and that style wouldn't mesh with the current attitude of NHL players. But a 6-0 start, and with a passion for the game, and his players, that would be tough to match, Roy looks like the real deal behind the bench.

If you didn't get a chance to watch this interview before last night's 4-2 loss to Detroit check it out. Ex-Wing goalie, and victim of the 2nd goalie fight, Chris Osgood talks to Patrick about coaching, the rivalry and their fight. It give a good insight into Roy's coaching philosophy along with a laugh or two about the bad old days when the Avs hated the Wings and the Wings hated the Avs.

Patty Roy. We thinks we'se going to like you Coach.

See You In April

Another season's in the books for the Sky Sox. A year that started with so much promise just kind of washed away in the rain (and cold and that dastardly torquing East wind). But hey, that's minor league baseball.

There's always next year!

Okay. Is baseball gone? Good, because it's time for FOOTBALL!

Maybe, just maybe, the most exciting
shot of a football field you'll ever see!

Hell! The only sports better than football are hockey; Aussie Rules; Rugby League; and some baseball; oh, and some soccer...blah, blah, blah. 

I'm bitter because I don't get the NFL RedZone with my free NFL Sunday Ticket package on DirecTV. Yes I get all the games, but I'll have to watch the boring stuff and work the clicker myself. Screw you Goodell! You're Satan!

As*holes! Don't you dare make me work while I watch TV

Mayor of Bullpenland

The August 26th doubleheader between the Sky Sox and the Las Vegas 51's, two baseball games, one dancing bullpen and the kickoff of, what looked like, Justin Hampson's campaign to be Mayor of Bullpenland.

Mayoral candidate Hampson, far right, speaks with voters,
like #73 Robert Carson, about their everyday concerns
like not enough dancing in the bullpen.

Candidate Hampson responds with, "dancing? you want
more dancing? Well, check this out...

...If they want bullpen dancing, dammit,
I'll give them bullpen dancing."

As the center of the pen grew weary of Justin's constant pleas for their votes Hampson shifted his focus to the far right of the bullpen...

A good smile goes a long way in any political campaign...

...but one must also address the issues,
"you too want more dancing? Okay.
Time to break out the big guns..."

..."Here's Justin Hampson's sexy-time dance explosion!
Aaaaaand! I've got your vote!"

Time to keep walking the town...

"Wherever there are dudes to talk to...I'll be there."

"Hi guys! I'm Justin Hampson, I grab my crotch a lot
and I want to be Mayor of Bullpenland!"

But even the Mayor of Bullpenland has to pitch now and then...

"Oh, shit! I gotta pitch!"

And pitch he did, with a scoreless 7th in game one and the save in game two...

Justin Hampson for Mayor of Bullpenland

He can talk
He can dance
He can scratch
He can pitch

Thank you for your vote!

Bonus pic! Here's Justin from 2006 when he was pitching for the Sky Sox:

Thanks Justin!

Vegas Dance Off!

The Las Vegas 51's are in town and DAMN! if they didn't bring their dancin' shoes!

First up for the 51's is #38 Sean Henn!

Sean, in the middle with his arms crossed, was just chillin'
when he busted out the "chair dance"!

Nice use of a prop Mr. Henn. 7/10!

Next up is catcher Kai Gronauer, showing the boys his "moves":

My milkshake brings all the boys to the (ball)yard...

Way to shake it Kai! 3rd up on our list is #73 Robert Carson:

Great facial expression Robert!
Shows that you're really, really into it.

Oh no! Look out Robert! It's the boss-man! Las Vegas manager Wally Backstrom!

Grrrrrr. Harumph! Something's going on somewhere.

HEY! What the hell are you doing back there?

Who me skip?
It's cool!

What does Justin Hampson, a former Sky Sox player, 2005-2006, think of this Vegas Style Bullpen Dance Party:

Justin Hampson thinks it's Flippin' AWESOME!

BONUS TIME! The original dancer from the May 1, 2013 post Dance You Fool! Dance! was not Sean Henn as we believed, but the one and only Justin Hampson! You rock dude!

Smokey No-Butt

Smokey the Bear was at the Sky Sox game on August 23rd and he's not looking his usual spokes-bear healthy self. With Fall coming up Mr. Bear should be all big and fat, but damn! Just look at him!

Smokey! You got no butt!
Have another donut! Really. Go ahead.

Plus, dude, your legs ain't right.
You look like Cotton from King of the Hill.

Smokey has "Cotton" legs.

Here's how Smokey looked just two years ago on May 29, 2011

Now that's a dumpy, proper bear ass!

Size 60 waist! SIZE 60!
What have you doing to yourself Smokey?
You can tell us. Are you on drugs?

Smokey in his halcyon, pre-addiction days.
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...

If you've got a problem, let talk, okay? Either you take care of this or we'll take care of it for you...time to call out the Panda Pig! 

Um. It's a sheriff. And a panda...

...SWEET JESUS! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Wait up Smokey! Got anything good on you? I just saw something that knocked me off my wagon.

What The?

Strange things were afoot in the Sacramento River Cats bullpen during the August 23rd game against the Sky Sox. River Cats reliever Kyler Newby hooked a giant rubber band to fellow reliever Hideki Okajima and then proceeded to "crank" Okajimi up.

Is Okajima a robot? An alien (space not foreign)? Just a kinky dude who likes to get his kicks in public? Are all the River Cats robots? The entire A's organization? We may never know, but they do seem to win an awful damn lot. Hmmm...where are Scully and Mulder when you need them?

Author's depiction of Hideki Okajima
in what might be his natural form.

No use steering now. The end is near.

The Sacramento River Cats celebrate another
series win against the Colorado Springs Sky Sox.
Damn robots.