Count 'em Out!

Oh, whatever will the poor Denver Broncos do? Drive off a cliff? Ram into a tanker truck and explode? Or just quietly run out of gas, coast to a stop on the side of the road and wait for the off season to arrive in the Wait-till-Next-Year tow truck? Let's take a look-see!

1, 2, 3...The Broncos' season is finishing like the career of a fat, old boxer who knows nothing else so he keeps fighting and keeps getting his ass kicked and keeps getting more brain damaged. It is sad. It is embarrassing. It is the Broncos. Enough said.

San Diego leads 24-6 at the half and only need another 10 points to cover my prediction of winning by 28. The defense is the defense and has not stopped the Chargers. The offense looked good on the first drive (let's script the first 15 plays, but the game is not 15 plays long and the Broncos usually look like sh*t after the script is finished), but terrible ever since the missed extra point. It will be a long 2nd half, a long off season and a long 2009 season. At least we still have the Rockies (wait. They'll suck too.).

Holy sh*t! They are not staying down (Stay down Rock! Stay down!). Bell scores on the opening drive of the 2nd half (was it scripted? Why can't you just script the whole fu*king game!?) to make it 24-13. Maybe there's a chance? Maybe? Nawwww! L.T. just ran for a hatfull of yards and the Chargers are looking to score again. And they do. Sproles walks through the non-existent Denver defense and it is 31-13.

Interception! Another S.D. L.T. T.D.! 38-13! Almost to 28! Come on! Dammit! Denver touchdown. 38-21. Another Chargers T.D.! Hell! I was close enough! Pay me my moneys! And choke on it Denver. Choke on it just like you choke on everything else. I won't even waste a cobra on this one. The cobras have suffered enough. Pray for the cobras. Pray hard.

OK. Denver tried. At least they can say that. Tried like Poland in 1939. 52-21. That covers my 28, plus 3! Whoopee! Now they can look forward to next year with their own Nevil Chamberlain firmly entrenched as head coach. Shanahan has brought us "peace in our time" because there will be no playoff berth. No ass-whuppin' at the hands of the Colts. No more disappointment. No more hope. No more season. Just peace and lots of time to think about how bad this team has been since Elway retired. Fu*k.

Great season ya bastards!