Reservoir Bees

The boys in the Salt Lake bullpen pulled their best Reservoir Dogs impression during their last visit to Security Service Field at Mile High.

You boys walk out of the bullpen together like that
you're going to need some theme music to play over it.

It was early in the game and they all went up to the clubhouse,
probably to kill someone or something.

Play the video below and look at those boys above. Awesome isn't it?

Reservoir Dogs. Great movie. A tad violent, but hey, what are you going to do?

Now this would be a sweet alternate jersey for any team.

Oh geez! Cover your ears! Here they come!

Which one is Mr. Pink?

Nicely played boys. You'se got style.

The Bullpen Troll

The Sky Sox are back for a short 4 game home stand after taking 3/4 from the Padres and crapping the bed by losing all 4 against the River Cats. The Sacramento series was so bad that this bomb-defuser guy from The Hurt Locker will be throwing out the 1st pitch before tonight's game with the Fresno Grizzlies.

Bomb against the River Cats?
I'll defuse that bad boy!

And speaking of the Grizzlies, sorry, no Tyler LaTorre this time. He's touring his one man play The Bullpen Troll on the East Coast somewhere and can't make it to Security Service Field at Mile High.

Here is Tyler LaTorre, performing his critically acclaimed
one man play The Bullpen Troll earlier this season.

But these two jokers hopefully will entertain the crowds in Tyler's absence.

They call this little number,
"Grab it. Give it. Did you get that?"

Oh! Almost forgot to mention, SoxEats is TUCANO'S tonight!

Yeah! Meat!

And there's always the chance that Phillies' t-shirt wearer "CHOOCH" will make an appearance!

Philadelphia Phillies # 51 - CHOOCH!

Fingers crossed!

I Ain't Getting On No Time Machine

 

ESPN's quality 30 for 30 series will be doing a documentary on the ABA team the Spirits of St. Louis airing on October 8th. And playing for the Spirits at that time was one heck of a free Spirit named Marvin Barnes who, if not for the high life of drugs and excess that was the 70's might have gone down as one of the best players in NBA history (read more about Marvin here).

But all you really need to know (without becoming sad about a life wasted and then less sad about a life redeemed) is that Marvin Barnes once had 13 phones in his house, because he always wanting to be able to answer the phone with as little movement as possible...

Hello. Is Marvin there?
Well he has to be there! He has all those damn phones!

...And the story about the Spirits getting ready to depart on a flight that left Louisville, Ky., at 8 p.m. and would get into St. Louis at 7:56 p.m. due to a time-zone change. Upon looking at the schedule, Barnes said, "I ain't getting on no time machine,''
and rented a car for the trip. Awesome! 100% pure awesome!

When there is no time for a time machine.
It's time to rent a car.

Thanks Marvin! Continued health and sobriety to you sir.

Broncos Open Camp!

Hey! It's the Broncos! And they're doing stuff!

Yeah! Football! Um, practice. The Denver Broncos began training camp today so that means only 42 more days of repetitive practice reports, meaningless games played by faceless players we'll never see again and a whole lot of nothing until football really starts (first game isn't 'til Thursday, September 5th at 630pm vs them stupid Baltimore Ravens). Dammit!

Anyway. Here's some footage from Day 1:

Super Bowl here we come!

Here they are hanging Joe Flacco in effigy.

Quick! Hide! The cops are here for Von Miller's stash!
Wait. That's legal now in this state...
Quick! Hide! The NFL is here for Von Miller's stash!

Okay. You know the drill...Let's go. Broncos. Yada yada yada.

Aliens!

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K Security Service Field at Mile High. Strange as in UFOs and Aliens and infected/infested players in the visiting bullpen.

With Tim Wheeler batting one of Salt Lake's "Aliens" puts
the kibosh on his swing and erases any memory of the event,
and maybe gives him space bugs.

How do we know that guy on the far right is an Alien? Well, explain this:

“They mostly come out at night, mostly.” 

Kay-riste! Dude doesn't have a nose or mouth! What the hell?!

Confirmed! Freak-haired History Channel guy says so!

So, if Giorgio Tsoukalos from the History Channel (you know that bastard of a channel that doesn't show history anymore. They're almost as bad as The Learning Channel. Almost, Honey Boo Boo sets the bar pretty low.) says that guy's an Alien. That guy's an Alien. And is having an Alien on your team bad? Hell yeah it's bad! I heard from Giorgio that Aliens make everyone around them sick. His best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw that same Alien lay it's eggs under the skin of some of the guys in the Bees' bullpen and that they passed out at 31 Flavors last night. So you can see it's pretty serious.

Yup. That's a team with space bugs.

Bugs! Them boys got bugs!

Ice Cream Dan

Yo! Jersey Dan! The intern man. This season is dwindling down and we are still a little short on the ice cream in the press box. A little short as in NO ICE CREAM AT ALL! Come on (ice cream) man! Stand and deliver!

GET! US!. SOME! ICE CREAM! OR ELSE!

We'll make this easy for you Dan.
Either you get us some ice cream, or you wear this
little number until the end of the season. Capisce?

Now, to more pressing matters, I swear I saw two dudes that looked like Ernest Hemingway at the Sky Sox game on July 13th. Really. But when I went to take their pictures I could only find one of them, so here he is...

Ernest Hemingway on Ernest Hemingway Night
at Security Service Field at Mile High.

Hey Papa. Where's your other bad self?
Oh, and Lemur Man?

Kind of like earlier in the year when I saw a Lemur Man walking into the ballpark. He was an older dude with a cane, white hair and a beard who looked just like a lemur. Hell. He may have been an actual lemur. I don't know. But damn, he did have a lemur-thing going on from the waist up. Well, everyone laughed at me. Called me crazy. Didn't believe there was a Lemur Man because I couldn't find him again to take his picture. We'll see who's crazy when the Lemur Man goes on one of his rampages and proves me right. It's going to happen. It's only a matter of time.

Lemur Man thinks of nothing but murder all day long.
(though the Lemur Man I saw did not have a tail)

You'll Never Walk Alone

There are moments in sport that divide. But more so, there are moments in sport that unite. Unite strata of society that, if not for sport, would have never entered each others orbit.

On June 26th in Rotterdam, Dutch side Feyenoord held their first practice of the 2013/14 season. Terminally ill supporter Rooie Marck was invited by the team to watch from field level.

Supported by his son and friends Rooie was greeted by the team and a huge Tifo, or banner, was unveiled by the club's supporters that was emblazoned with Rooie's likeness...

Rooie Marck. Feyenoord for life.
(click here for more great images)

...and the fans serenaded him with unofficial anthem of Feyenoord, You'll Never Walk Alone. 

Rooie Marck in front of his Tifo and the Feyenoord supporters.

Three day later Rooie Marck passed away.

Rest in peace Rooie Marck.
(click here for more images from his funeral)

Tebow's In The House!

Would you look who was in the Sky Sox dugout chatting with Tyson Any'tizers spokesplayer Reid Brignac on July 10th:

Reid Brignac gets some hairstyling advise from the master,
Tim Tebow, while Lars Davis moves to escape before
his hair ends up looking the same way.

It's Tim Tebow! Yes! Tebow-Time and his Friar Tuck haircut! You know? The Tibus! Oh, lucky us! Lucky, lucky us!

It was almost as exciting as the day when
TWO Tim Tebows came to a game! TWO TEBOWS!

And Tim is a brave man to still be sporting that haircut from 2010, but try as he might, he'll never top the Back-of-the-Head-Faceman. Dude was epic.

Still, by far, the best all time hair style to grace
Security Service Field at Mile High.

Sumo-riffic!

Omedetōgozaimasu Hakuho!
July's Grand Sumo Tournament
Makuuchi Division Champion
with a record of 13-2.
(Check out his web-card here)

Like Sumo? Did you watch any of July's Grand Sumo Tournament from Nagoya that the great Nakuho won? No? Want to watch September's tournament from Tokyo? Well TV Japan on Comcast (channels 199/963)/ Dish Network (channels 9989/9991) broadcasts each of the 6 Grand Sumo Tournaments LIVE! .

January - Tokyo

March - Osaka

May - Tokyo

July - Nagoya

September - Tokyo

November - Fukuoka

Granted, the LIVE coverage begins at 100am Mountain Time, but at least it's on. And it's LIVE! Sweet!

Nothing says Late Night TV like
LIVE Sumo broadcast in Japanese without subtitles

TV Japan's website.
Doesn't this site just POP?! WOW! Here's my money!

PengoSports has spent a lot of late nights watching Sumo tournaments. They are always entertaining, but the commentary is only in Japanese so it takes a bit to pick up the nuance of each match.

Not too many dudes can pull off the paper belt look.

Looks like a slow dance at the Sumo School.
Can't help think that everyone watching is judging these two.

TV Japan costs $24.99 a month! We know that's a lot of Yen for TV you probably won't watch all that much. Instead go to YouTube for all your Sumo/strange Japanese TV needs:

Baseball Is Boring

In honor of the Sky Sox taking on the Sacramento River Cats tonight here is a shot of a really bored Sacramento bullpen from July 9th:

From left to right - staring at the ground guy, trimming his nails guy,
bored bullpen catcher guy, so bored he can't stop yawning guy,
staring off into space guy, this is even boring in Japanese guy &
this is even more boring as Japanese translator guy.

BONUS! The fans! - blonde chick, bald dude &...

...a dude with poor posture wearing a t-shirt that
has a nakedish He-Man guy riding a bear/tiger thingy.

He looks bored, but you can't be bored with a t-shirt like that. He's got to be so intense he just looks bored.

Who Throws A Shoe?

There come those times in baseball where you say to yourself, "Hell. I've never seen that before." Well, the July 10th game between Colorado Springs and Sacramento provided me with one of those moments when River Cats' pitcher Andrew Werner had one of his shoes fly off during a pitch and the batter, I don't remember who was batting for the Sox, grounded out after shattering their bat on the same pitch. There was crap flying all over the infield.

Sacramento's Andrew Werner and his lost shoe.

Not the best pic, but imagine first a shoe, and then bat parts flying everywhere. Now dial it down a couple of notches because it was, after all, just a shoe and a couple a pieces of a bat. Looked like something out of the US Festival. Just thought I'd share.

It was a lot like this, except without all the people
and add in a shoe and parts of a baseball bat.

Bat Country

"We can't stop here, this is bat country." Raoul Duke

Sky Sox catcher Jose Gonzalez don't care about bats.
Sky Sox catcher Jose Gonzalez crazy like that.

Reid Brignac Sure Is Hungry

You can now get most of your deep-fried food needs
in one convenient, easy to carry bag. Thanks Tyson!

On July 7th, during a between innings promo where a couple of guys were whipping Tyson Any'tizers over their shoulders while a partner tried to catch them in a Tyson Any'tizers backpack...

Tyson Any'tizers!
Eat 'em or throw 'em!
The choice is yours!

...well, along comes Sky Sox shortstop, Reid Brignac, who wanders by the tray of Tyson Any'tizers, and helps himself to a wee meal...

I sure is hungry and I couldn't help but notice that you has
some food there. HEY! Tyson Any'tizers!...

...Count me in!
I'm Reid Brignac. And I approve of these Tyson Any'tizers!

Bon appetit Reid!

Umpsquatches

A dreaded Umpsquatch was spotted in the wilds of Security Service Field at Mile High this week.

 It was definitely A SQUATCH!
All dark and in the way.

Damn thing even went after Tulo! TULO! Won't someone please think of the children. Where are them folks from Finding Bigfoot when you need them?

Lookout Tulo! It's an Umpsquatch!

Origin III The Decider!

 

State of Origin III. The Decider. Tonight-Wednesday morning. LIVE from Sydney on Fox Soccer (Comcast CO/Springs 125, DirecTV 619, Dish 390). 330am MDT pre-game (really. No Prime Minister change this time). 415am MDT kickoff. Watch it. Record it. Just see it.

As Queensland's Justin Hodges, predicted, "The first 20 minutes are going to be pretty brutal," he said. Both sides are going to come out and try and stamp their authority. We expect a bit of fireworks, I guess."

New South Wales has lost 7 straight series to the Maroons. They are desperate for the win. While Queensland is Queensland and want to impose their will on the Blues to make it 8 in a row.

Here's the punch up from Origin I:

Trust us. It's is the awesome!