Mayor of Bullpenland

The August 26th doubleheader between the Sky Sox and the Las Vegas 51's, two baseball games, one dancing bullpen and the kickoff of, what looked like, Justin Hampson's campaign to be Mayor of Bullpenland.

Mayoral candidate Hampson, far right, speaks with voters,
like #73 Robert Carson, about their everyday concerns
like not enough dancing in the bullpen.

Candidate Hampson responds with, "dancing? you want
more dancing? Well, check this out...

...If they want bullpen dancing, dammit,
I'll give them bullpen dancing."

As the center of the pen grew weary of Justin's constant pleas for their votes Hampson shifted his focus to the far right of the bullpen...

A good smile goes a long way in any political campaign...

...but one must also address the issues,
"you too want more dancing? Okay.
Time to break out the big guns..."

..."Here's Justin Hampson's sexy-time dance explosion!
Aaaaaand! I've got your vote!"

Time to keep walking the town...

"Wherever there are dudes to talk to...I'll be there."

"Hi guys! I'm Justin Hampson, I grab my crotch a lot
and I want to be Mayor of Bullpenland!"

But even the Mayor of Bullpenland has to pitch now and then...

"Oh, shit! I gotta pitch!"

And pitch he did, with a scoreless 7th in game one and the save in game two...

Justin Hampson for Mayor of Bullpenland

He can talk
He can dance
He can scratch
He can pitch

Thank you for your vote!

Bonus pic! Here's Justin from 2006 when he was pitching for the Sky Sox:

Thanks Justin!

Vegas Dance Off!

The Las Vegas 51's are in town and DAMN! if they didn't bring their dancin' shoes!

First up for the 51's is #38 Sean Henn!

Sean, in the middle with his arms crossed, was just chillin'
when he busted out the "chair dance"!

Nice use of a prop Mr. Henn. 7/10!

Next up is catcher Kai Gronauer, showing the boys his "moves":

My milkshake brings all the boys to the (ball)yard...

Way to shake it Kai! 3rd up on our list is #73 Robert Carson:

Great facial expression Robert!
Shows that you're really, really into it.

Oh no! Look out Robert! It's the boss-man! Las Vegas manager Wally Backstrom!

Grrrrrr. Harumph! Something's going on somewhere.

HEY! What the hell are you doing back there?

Who me skip?
It's cool!

What does Justin Hampson, a former Sky Sox player, 2005-2006, think of this Vegas Style Bullpen Dance Party:

Justin Hampson thinks it's Flippin' AWESOME!

BONUS TIME! The original dancer from the May 1, 2013 post Dance You Fool! Dance! was not Sean Henn as we believed, but the one and only Justin Hampson! You rock dude!

Smokey No-Butt

Smokey the Bear was at the Sky Sox game on August 23rd and he's not looking his usual spokes-bear healthy self. With Fall coming up Mr. Bear should be all big and fat, but damn! Just look at him!

Smokey! You got no butt!
Have another donut! Really. Go ahead.

Plus, dude, your legs ain't right.
You look like Cotton from King of the Hill.

Smokey has "Cotton" legs.

Here's how Smokey looked just two years ago on May 29, 2011

Now that's a dumpy, proper bear ass!

Size 60 waist! SIZE 60!
What have you doing to yourself Smokey?
You can tell us. Are you on drugs?

Smokey in his halcyon, pre-addiction days.
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...

If you've got a problem, let talk, okay? Either you take care of this or we'll take care of it for you...time to call out the Panda Pig! 

Um. It's a sheriff. And a panda...

...SWEET JESUS! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Wait up Smokey! Got anything good on you? I just saw something that knocked me off my wagon.

What The?

Strange things were afoot in the Sacramento River Cats bullpen during the August 23rd game against the Sky Sox. River Cats reliever Kyler Newby hooked a giant rubber band to fellow reliever Hideki Okajima and then proceeded to "crank" Okajimi up.

Is Okajima a robot? An alien (space not foreign)? Just a kinky dude who likes to get his kicks in public? Are all the River Cats robots? The entire A's organization? We may never know, but they do seem to win an awful damn lot. Hmmm...where are Scully and Mulder when you need them?

Author's depiction of Hideki Okajima
in what might be his natural form.

No use steering now. The end is near.

The Sacramento River Cats celebrate another
series win against the Colorado Springs Sky Sox.
Damn robots.

Sweet Double Play Pic!

The last picture of what would have been a sweet series
with Drew Garcia turning the double play over Sacramento's
Anthony Aliotti. Someone, or something, got in my way.

Okay. Maybe not. Stupid umps. Always ruining my shots.

So anywho...here's a cat lady that was at last night's game:

This was my dream...
this is my nightmare.

What do you say Intern Dan?

Red shirt? Space condo? Space phone?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Dammit! They got to you too! Be gone! Away now! Back to Jersey with your own nerd-self! (though I did hear you kind of like that "cat thang" she had going on. Good for you if that's what you're into. Now, still be gone! You sick bastard!)

Star Fest Tonight!

Hey guys, we're standing next to a girl!

Attention NERDS! Grab your Tang, and your Spacefood Sticks, because the crowd at tonight's Sky Sox game is going to be full to the brim with your brethren as the team pays tribute to those loveable space losers from that Simon Pegg movie, Star Trek. There will be space battles, space intrigue and probably some space love too. Set your phasers for FUN! and come see some space stuff at the ballyard Security Service Spacestation at a lot of Miles High.

I like Bad Kirk. Now that's a dude I could hangout with.

BONUS! The real spacestation, ISS can be seen tonight from the stadium -

8:33 PM, Visible: 4 min, Max Height: 88 degrees, Appears: NW, Disappears: SE

Juan José Ibarretxe, cuyo parecido con el Señor Spock
ha sido frecuentemente comentado, rodeado de militantes
y candidadatos de su partido disfrazados de trekkies
durante un acto de campaña de las elecciones autonómicas
de 2009 que coincidió en fechas con los Carnavales.
- El equipo del lehendakari on WikiCommons

Yes! To whatever that text below the picture of Senor Spock says! It's goes double for us!
 

Fear The Beards

At a press conference the other day Dodgers' reliever Brian Wilson was offered a cool million to shave off his beard. He said no. But he did give props to the Pacific Coast League by wearing his Albuquerque Isotopes shirt under his LA jersey.

Do that in the NFL and your ass gets a 10 grand fine.

And here's his brother playing for Angola against Egypt at the FIBA African Championships:

Maybe you should transfer some of that
beard to the top part of your head?

Pretty cool eh? Know what else is cool? Rugby League action on Fox Sports 2 tonight at 1000pm! Watch the Manly Sea Eagles and Canberra Raiders LIVE from Down Under! 

Watch Fox Sports 2 tonight at 1000pm,
on your brand new modern TV!

Oh. The Broncos host the Rams tonight at 600pm on KKTV 11. It is preseason still, so we should all get really, really excited, do some legal weed, dilute our piss tests and take the next six weeks off. 

Mr. Miller. You order is ready.

Slip-Slidin' Away

Last night it rained...

The game will be delayed a bit.

And rained...

On-field host Jon Eddy truly does not
have the sense to come in out of the rain.

And then for good measure it rained some more, only this time really, really hard...

Think we're going to need a bigger boat.

So, while Security Service Field at Mile High looked like a pond...

Hey! There's a wee tarp out in left field.

...the hail was so deep in the North part of the city it looked like a blizzard hit, Manitou waited on a "wall of water" to hit it and the city's weatherpeople got collective chubbies...

With his hand on his hip he's saying,
"I'm a fu*king weatherman! Kneel before my Doppler!"

...leave it to a couple of brave Sky Sox players, Lars Davis and Hernan Iribarren, to save the day by breaking out the tarp-slides!

LARS! No not the one from Metallica, DAVIS!

Lars Davis leaves the building while
Hernan Iribarren sprints onto the tarp!

Safe! And wet!

Great form! Hernan must have traveled close to 60 feet!

As you might have guessed, the game was bagged. Wet field and stuff. Doubleheader today! At least until the rain returns.

Is Iribarren doing the side-stroke?

Johnny D!

Sacramento radio legend Johnny Doskow
entertains Sky Sox fans with a medley of hits
from his Outfield days during a rain delay
at Security Service Field at Mile High.

Next year the Sky Sox are moving from the PCL Pacific Northern to the American Northern division. That means that the teams they faced 8 times a year at home will now only come round Security Service Field at Mile High for only 4 games every other year. So, we will only get to see some of our favorite PCL radio personalities every other year. Radio personalities like Sacramento River Cats' superstar Johnny Doskow.

An angry Johnny Doskow knows what he doesn't like.
And Johnny Doskow doesn't like this.

Johnny was the lost forgotten 4th member of the 80's pop sensation The Outfield, known for their mega-hit Your Love,

Johnny, two years are two too many. We'll look forward to seeing you in 2015 (unless the schedule plays out that we'll see you next year and then in 2016)!

Pop sensation and radio god,
Johnny Doskow!