Tour de France

Allez boys! Allez!

Saturday. 600am. 2012 Le Tour begins with the Prologue as it travels 6.1km from Liege to Liege. Not the mountain stages (hell, not even in France. Liege is in Belgium), but it's Le Tour! Always great TV. NBC Sports Network (plus some NBC tossed in here and there) with Phil Liggett & Paul Sherwen calling the action.

Hey Marconi! Which way to the Champ Elysees?

Le Tour de France runs from June 30 - July 22. Live coverage usually begins around 600am and is repeated several time throughout the day. It is more than worth a watch. Chapeau!

Are You Ready For Some Football?!

Canadian football tonight!

Are you ready for some CFL football football? Yup! It's that time of year again. The 2012 season opens tonight with the Saskatchewan Roughrider vs. the Hamilton Tiger-Cats at 500pm and then the Winnipeg Blue Bomber vs. the BC Lions at 800pm! Watch both games LIVE on ESPN3.com!

Oh Canada! Just look at them Blue Bombers march down the field!

Joe Sacco - Hall of Fame! UPDATED

Congratulations to Colorado Avalanche head coach and NHL journeymen legend Joe Sacco Sakic for his election to the Hockey Hall of Fame today!

Coach Joe Sacco directs the Colorado Avalanche to another
expectation reducing, playoff-free year!

"Super Joe" by Dennis Kotelko
Retirement tribute to Joe Sakic, future Hall of Fame pro hockey player.
Available for $195!

In a 13 20 year playing career Sacco Sakic played 738 1378 games notching 93 625 goals and 119 1016 assists. Good enough to be 9th all-time! Leaving him only 2644 points behind all-time leader Wayne Gretzky's total of 2857. Um. PengoSports is a bit confused at his election. Joe Sacco? Really? He's only 114-109 as a coach and 213 points as a player? He does seem like a nice enough guy. Maybe that had something to do with it. Oh well. This makes a whole lot more sense. Congrats Joe!

Omir's Amazing Bat

Sky Sox catcher Omir Santos is the only player in all of professional baseball to use a 'split-bat'. He tells PengoSports, "my split-bat' has two parts for hitting. That gives me one more than all other hitters. Plus, sometimes when I'm slumping and can't get hits, I catch the ball in the split, or just pick it off the ground, you know, Miyagi-San style, like when he taught Daniel-San how to catch flys (the insects not balls) with that tiny 'split-bat' thing...

The original 'split-bat'.

 ...and then I throw the bat into the outfield as far as I can! No one wants to try to catch a bat. Especially my 'split-bat'! Base hit for Omir!"

Sky Sox catcher Omir Santos with his amazing 'split-bat'.

A close-up of Santos' 'split-bat'.

Way to go Omir Santos! The Mr. Miyagi of AAA Baseball!

Fair or Foul?

Let's play Fair or Foul with Brandon Wood! Okay now. Ready? 

FAIR? OR FOUL?

Tic. Tic. Tic...

COME ON! IT'S A SIMPLE ENOUGH QUESTION! FAIR OR FOUL?

What is your answer?

IT'S! IT'S!! IT'S!!! Um...

FAIR! Congratulations! Or not.

Thank you for playing our game.

It's the Rally Duck

Damn Sky Sox almost threw a no-hitter last night. Lost it with one out in the 9th. Beat the Bees 8-2. Why did they play lights-out and then blow it? I blame this thing:

Just like Jaws only it's a blow-up duck and it's in a hot tub.

The team is pitching, hitting and doing all things baseball like gangbusters while the Rally Duck was floating in the World Famous Hot Tub, but butcher it all away after the duck left early to beat traffic ( I can't be 100% sure it was gone because I did not look up there in the 9th but it seems plausible and I need someone, or something, to blame for getting home after 1000pm when I really, really wanted to leave by 730pm. I had Pomeranz pitching at the perfect time, the light was right, I was going to get my shot! Nope. The only cloud we've seen in a week wandered by and destroyed any chance. I hated that cloud).

One of these days Cloud. One of these days...

Okay. Back to the Duck. The damn thing was mesmerizing. Just floating and circling, and circling and floating all night. Hell, I couldn't help looking back at it over and over again so I know the boys from Salt Lake were hella-distracted by it's hypnotic dance (their dugout was looking directly at the hot tub). I hear things like this are illegal in Utah, so this must have been like an extra trip to Las Vegas for them and got them so excited they couldn't hit, or pitch, but they did field pretty well, so at least they had going for them.

Fear the Rally Duck!  

Hopefully we will see the Rally Duck again. But he needs to show up in the 2nd or 3rd inning so I can leave early and not worry about no-hitters.

What the Hell Did I Just Watch?

This commercial has been around for a while but is is now in heavy rotation on the ESPNs during their EURO 2012 coverage. Enjoy:

 
The Rehabilitator - SonoSite Hand-Carried Ultrasound for MSK.

Just why this needs mass-advertised stymies the mind.

Now I've see a few commercials in my day. I've seen some damn good ones and I've seen plenty of sh*tty ones too. The Rehabilitator is one of the latter. This is a whole new level of CRAP. Let's break it down: 

Terrible, worthless commercial, but props to the advertising company that sold this concept to SonoSite. Takes some balls to push for this project!

Poop On Your Star Wars Night!

The Sky Sox are having their 3rd annual/2nd annual Star Wars night on Saturday, June 23rd. It will be a night of nerds in Star Wars outfits, freaks not in Star Wars outfits, confused and bewildered baseball fans wishing they had checked the promo schedule and a giant evil rat.

Anytime something like this comes up all I can think of is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog hanging out with the Episode I crowds in New York:

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars - watch more funny videos

Hello evil rat. Where are your bells?

You look sad vandalized Stormtrooper. What's wrong?

A skinny Boba Fett in sneakers, a Stormtroop hanging out,
a pink Stormtrooper lookin' sassy
and a skinny Stormtroop posing for a snapshot with a fan.

Fat Vader is too fat to pitch.
His minion tosses the ball while Darth wanders off for a snack.

The event is a good time for families, Star Wars fans and nerds. Game time is 6:05pm. Get there early to see all the freaks.

Erin go Bragh!

Ireland crapped out of EURO 2012 today after getting smoked 4-0 by Spain. Earlier this week they lost 3-1 to Croatia. They still have a game against Italy but are officially eliminated from advancing to the next round. Did anybody expect them to win it all? No, but Ireland just hoped to steal a game or two and make it to the knockout stage. Were the defeats surprising? No. But getting crushed is disappointing. And with all the news of riots and hooligans at EURO 2012 one would expect fans of eliminated teams, fans that spend a lot of Euros/Zloty to attend the matches in Poland, to run wild through the streets. Did they? No. Did the Irish fans get drunk? Well, they are Irish, so I would guess a few did. So what did the Irish fans do? They sang. They sang The Fields of Athenry as the game wound down. 

The Fields of Athenry
by Pete St. John
By a lonely prison wall
I heard a young girl calling
Micheal they are taking you away
For you stole Trevelyn's corn
So the young might see the morn.
Now a prison ship lies waiting in the bay.

Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

By a lonely prison wall
I heard a young man calling
Nothing matters Mary when you're free,
Against the Famine and the Crown
I rebelled they ran me down
Now you must raise our child with dignity.

Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

By a lonely harbor wall
She watched the last star falling
As that prison ship sailed out against the sky
Sure she'll wait and hope and pray
For her love in Botany Bay
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

They sang beautifully. They sang a song about a man that was sentenced to transportation to Australia for stealing food to feed his starving family during the potato famine. How so very Irish.

The Fields of Athenry by ftw1905

To the Ireland soccer team, to the Irish soccer fans I say, thank you. Moments like this make whatever Irish I have left in me swell with pride. Moments like this make me a bit less cynical. Moments like this make me remember why I love sport. Thank you and Erin go Bragh!

Group of Death!

EURO 2012 Group of Death games today!

GAME 1

Denmark v Portugal

10:00am on ESPN proper

Watch it. Watch it. WATCH the f-ing BALL!
Watch the Danes shock the world?
...watch Ronaldo choke again?

Portugal and Netherlands need full points today or it's DEATH to them.

 Game 2

Netherlands v Germany!

12:45pm on ESPN proper

The Dutch lose, they die (or get invaded)!

Tulo's Back

TULO'S back!

One day only. At Security Service Field. Tulo the Great! Wednesday, June 13. Showtime 12:30pm. Come see Tulo the Great catch! Come see Tulo the Great throw!! Come see Tulo the Great hit!!! Or just come, sit in the sun and enjoy some day baseball at the ballyard while clap, clap, clap-clap-clap, clap-clap-clap-clap, clap-clap TULO! echos all around you.

His hair is hypnotic. Don't stare lest ye be HYPNOTIZED!

And now, PengoSports is proud to introduce our newest contributing photographer, the ColoSportSpaz herself, Jenn Grayson! Jenn will showcasing her photos from time to time. This is one of those times. Here are her 1st two:

Sox the Fox has balls. Sox the Fox has 3 balls. Sox the Fox has 3 blue balls.

Dude. Duuude! You're in public!
Kay-riste! Why don't you and that thing get a room?

 Like shooting fish in the barrel:

If you do not know Flula get to know Flula.
Subscribe to his YouTube feed.
He is German. And get this, he's funny! No. Really!
He is funny! And yes, he really is German.

ORIGIN II !!!

STATE OF ORIGIN II!!!  

Beau Scott confronts Sam Thaiday in Game 1
of the 2011 State of Origin series, Brisbane.
Creative Commons - HeavenlyDivine

Wednesday morning. Tomorrow June 13.
Fox Soccer Channel (Comcast 125/ DirecTV 619/Dish 406).
Pregame - 3:30am. Kickoff - 4:00am.

 
New South Wales v Queensland at ANZ Stadium in Sydney.

Watch it! You won't regret it! It is the AWESOME!

 

Kings Win Stanley's Cup!

Congratulations to the LA Kings for their incredible run to hoist Stanley Roper's Cup! (If you loved him in Three's Company you should check out Twelve Angry Men. Awesome film! But not quite as 'wacky')

The Stanley Cup, the most respected trophy in sports.

Plus you gotta love Dustin Brown dropping an F-Bomb on NBC:

That what you get for interviewing a guy who adrenalin level is pegged at 11( it's one higher you know).

Two Mannys?

With a tear in our eye, we say, 'goodbye!'

Peeking in the RiverCats' dugout during Sunday's game something didn't seem right about Manny:

Here is Manny being Manny from Game 1...

...and Manny from game 4. When did he start wearing glasses?

 Hmmm? Looked odd with the naked eye. Really looked odd zoomed in.

And he looks kind of doughy. What the?

Wait a second! That's not Manny! IMPOSTER!

Who is that fake-dreadlocked man? And what has he done with Manny?
 

The imposter inspects his bat like Manny...

...wanders the dugout aimlessly like Manny...

...he's even wearing Manny's batting gloves,
protective elbow guard and doo-rag...

Does Manny have a doppelganger?

The face is starting to look familiar...

...is it? Could it be?

It is! It's ex-Sky Sox pitcher Bruce Billings!
Now sporting a beard and glasses to fool the masses.

Damn! Manny's going to be so pissed! Bruce is going to die!

Bruce Billings give Manny back his stuff.
Manny seems cool with it.

No hatin', just lazin' on the fence together. Manny is a good dude.

Bruce lived. Manny hit a couple of balls hard and seemed to be a good teammate. Good luck with your comeback Manny. Thanks for a fun weekend. You deserve to go out on your own terms. Hope you get that chance.