Goodbye Dexter - UPDATED!

The Rockies traded Dexter Fowler to the Houston Astros today for a handful of magic beans. Sometimes they just seem to want to make a trade because that's what all the cool kids are doing and don't appear to really think things through. Hell, who knows? Maybe RHP Jordan Lyles and OF Brandon Barnes will turn out to be superstars! You know? Just like almost everyone else they've ever gotten in return for a trade.

The crime solving and serial killing
will have to begin anew in Houston.

Good luck Dex...UPDATED...and now the cobras have got Drew Pomeranz!

LHP Pomeranz, the center piece in the Ubaldo Jimenez trade, got shipped off to Oakland for LHP Brett Anderson. Anderson, with a troubling history of injuries, could be a steal IF he stays healthy. And that is a GREAT BIG IF.

Pomeranz never seemed comfortable pitching. Saw him start for the Sky Sox about 20+ times and he only looked like he believed in his talent in 2 of those. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and can really let you down if you don't control it. We wish Drew luck with Oakland. Maybe he can find his groove there.

Tulooooooooooooooo!

MONDAY! MONDAY!! MONDAY!!! Tulo and Dexter will be at Security Service Field at Mile High for a rehab assignment. Come see Tulo be surly...

COME!

SEE ME!

REHAB!

...and I guess Dexter will kill someone just to promote the 8th season of his show on Showtime.

Bring the kids! It should be fun and kids eat free on Mondays with the purchase of an adult ticket!

The Sky Sox New Manager Should Be...

This managing stuff, is it hard?
Nope. It ain't rocket science.

Stu Cole got the call and will be spending his 2013 in the 3rd base coach's box for the Colorado Rockies. Congrats Stu!

The sun is shinyer in the big leagues!

Tagging alone with Stu will be the Sox hitting instructor Rene Lachemann. Lach will be hanging out in the 1st base coach's box, yelling stuff and frightening children (read all about it here).

"Don't be lying to me! Understand?!"
We'll miss you Lach!

So that leaves us wondering who'll get the gig with the Sox? Smart money is on Duane Espy, the manager with the Rockies AA affiliate Tulsa Drillers. The Rocks like to promote from within and no one will be surprised if Espy is named. But who should the Rockies pick to manage in Colorado Springs? Our first thought was Jason Giambi. Awesome guy, connected with players while he was down here, knows the game and would make a great coach/manager. But wait you say! He doesn't have any experience coaching or managing! Really? Managing is just keeping the clubhouse on an even keel. Any chimp can do a double switch, contrary to what purist chuckleheads say, so a good manager just needs to be a leader. A good leader. And Giambi is that indeed.

The Giambino would bring professionalism,
and media attention to the Sky Sox...

...plus, he's a really, really good dude.

Then we got to thinking that as good Giambi would be, there may just be a better choice out there. Someone with experience managing at the minor league level, someone that played for the Sky Sox and is also one heck of a good human being, someone named Sal Fasano. 

How awesome would it be if this man
was named the next manager of the
Colorado Springs Sky Sox?

Sal has managed the last two years in the Blue Jays organization, A ball in 2010 and AA in 2011. And Fasano won AA Manger of the Year when he lead the New Hampshire Fisher Cats to an Eastern League championship. So the dude's got skills. Mad phat skillz!

Sal Fasano.
One of the truly good guys in sport.

The biggest problem with Sal is that he thinks he got screwed when he was here in 2009 (read about it here). And I can't really disagree with him. But 2012 is a different time and maybe, just maybe we can dream a little bit about making right past wrongs and seeing Sal Fasano in a Sky Sox uniform with a smile on his face and a lineup card in his hand.

Separated at birth?

Past Colorado Springs Sky Sox great, and current Rockies utility-man, Jonathan Herrera (Root Sport has annoyingly christened him Johnny Sparkplug) and the 1970's New York Mets' superstar Chico Escuela:

Rumour has it Herrera is coming out with a new tell-all book,
Bad Stuff 'Bout the Rockies

HUMIDOR!

A HUMIDOR! AAA pitchers rejoice! Colorado Springs’ altitude of 6551 feet and deserty-dry air are now non-issues! When pitching at Security Service Field the only things you’ll have to worry about are the wind; the cold; earwigs; elves; tofu; wolves…

BEHOLD! THE HUMIDOR!

Was It Heaven or One Hell of a Wasted Weekend?

Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee...

I Fought the Couch and the Couch Won. The Day of the Sloth. The Great Big Nothing. Or Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory! What should PengoSports call the weekend of May 22 & 23, 2010? What did we do to deserve naming our weekend you ask ? Well, if you must know, we spent the weekend watching 20+ hours of sports on TV and the interwebs. 16 hours on Saturday and another 4+ on Sunday. Was it heaven? Nope. A lot of it sucked. But it had to be done and it beat the hell out of actually doing something constructive.

Prepared for a long couple of days.

All games rated on the PengoSports 10 cobra scale -

0 cobras = great/you live to 10 cobras = sucked/you die

Saturday - (all times, are of course, MDT)

8:00 am - Soccer on to ESPN3.com - Cardiff v Blackpool
A 2nd division (call the Championship) playoff to determine who would be playing in the Premier League next year. Blackpool wins 3-2.
Great game - 0 cobras!

9:00 am - Rugby Union on BBC.com live text - Biarritz v Toulouse
Heineken Cup Final by blog on the BBC website. In an all French final Toulouse defeated a game Biarritz side 21-19 in front of 80,000 fans at the Stade de France in Paris.

Not shown on TV. Reading bad - 6 cobras.

11:00 am - Soccer on FSC - Champions League Final pregame
It's the soccer Superbowl! Oh, and it's European! How gay can this pregame be? Surprisingly less gay than the NFL's. Fox Soccer Channel picked up the Sky Sports feed from the UK and wasted 90 minutes of my life.

Thanks for nothing as*holes! - 9 cobras.

12:10 pm - baseball on FSN RM - Colorado Rockies v Kansas City Royals
The Rockies broke their losing streak and Jeff Francis looked like the 2007 Jeff Francis, which is good, winning 3-0.
Rock-o-de-Mayo! - 3 cobras just because the Rocks need to break out and a good cobra-ing might be just the thing to do it.

12:30 pm - Cricket on ESPN3.com - New Zealand v Sri Lanka
Pearls Cup Twenty20 international test match from Florida. Twenty20 cricket is the new, "exciting", brand of the sports that looks a hell of a lot like the old,"boring", brand but without the breaks for lunch, tea, dumps, etc...

Still not getting the cricket - 5 sleeping cobras. Don't wake them or they'll bite, but since you play cricket you won't have to worry about that.

12:45 pm - Soccer on Fox - Inter Milan v Bayern Munich
Champions League final on Fox?! Way to go Fox! The game was average, but them foreigners sure do like them some soccer and the crowd made it quite entertaining! Inter won 2-0 on a couple of great goals by Argentine Diego Milito.
Gooooooaaaaallllllllll!!!!!!!! - 2 cobras for the game and 8 extra bitey cobras for Inter manager Jose Mourinho who is a prick (but a hell of a manager).

1:00 pm - Hockey on NBC - Philiadelphia at Montreal
Hockey. Playoff hockey. Playoff hockey in Montreal. Heaven. Flyers' goalie Michael Leighton pitching another doughnut in net. Ian Laperriere grinding it out in his first game back since rerererearranging his face on a shot in round one. Bullies over the Habs 3 rip.
God I love this game! - 0 cobras. Cobras bite hockey players then crawl away to die.

Halftime of the Champions League final - Chicken and broccoli from the China Gourmet!

Best Chinese in town! Never ever a cobra. Really! They are cobra-free!

Well fed and bleary eyed we travel into the late afternoon...

4:00 pm - Women's soccer on ESPN2 - USA v Germany

Why chick's soccer? Well it was two of the best teams in the world, but to be honest, it was on and I really don't have a good answer. USA 4 - Germany 0.

I'd rather watch MLS - 7 cobras. Dammit! Speed it up a tad girls! This is like watching paint dry.

5:00-7:00 pm - Softball, hockey, baseball, basketball...whatever was on.

Time to play clicker roulette! NCAA softball, NOOOOOO! Click. Baseball, eh. Click. Replay of the Memorial Cup semi, Brandon Wheatkings v Calgary Hitmen, YES! Wheatkings win! Wheatkings win! Click. Hey, it's the Magic at the Celtics, click. No basketball! God damn! Has there been more than one decent game in this year's playoffs? Thought not. NBA. You suck a*s! Oh, and while I'm at it, nice heart Nuggets! Choke much? Oh yeah, that's all you do. Click.
10 cobras. 10 angry cobras. Bite, bite my pretties! Bite, bite!

7:00 pm - NRL rugby league on Altitude - Dragons v Bulldogs, + highlights!

Yes it looks like it was filmed by Aquaman. And yes it is hard to follow if you don't know the sport. But hey it's rugby league from Australia and it's an awesome sport and it's pretty damn cool to watch (even with the Aquaman angle).

The video referee says, "TRY"! 5 cobras for production values and for it being taped delayed, but 0 cobras for the rugby!

9:00 pm - Hoops & Sportscenter on ESPN

Who would have guessed that the Magic would fold like a cheap suit against the Celtics. I will say that Rondo is a gamer. He could play on my team anytime. Dude is badass! But he plays basketball so sucks to be him.

1000 pm - Aussie Rules LIVE on ESPN2 - Carlton v Hawthorn
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Live Australian football back on the ESPN's! Fast, rough and high scoring! Gots to love the footy! Hawthorn wins it going away. Life is good with live Aussie Rules back on real TV!

A dingo did not eat your baby! 0 cobras! Yes!

The night ended at 1:00 am. That's an hour to jump start Sunday:

12:10 pm - baseball on FSN RM - Rockies at Royals
Rocks rock a Cy Young winner! Rock and roll boys! Colorado 11 KC 7.
Tired of the baseball - 5 cobras just for the heck of cobraing.

1:00 pm - hockey on NBC - Hawks v Sharks
Chicago is going back to the finals for this first time since '92. Good on you Blackhawks! And thanks for the same old same old San Jose. Time to ditch Nabby and find a goalie that can carry the playoff weight. You are a team with too much talent to choke year after year. Chicago 4 San Jose 2. Hawks sweep the series.
Sweet home Chicago! 0 cobras.

Done and done. 20+ hours and out!

Mental E-5

10.12 Errors
The official scorer shall not score mental mistakes or misjudgments as errors unless a specific rule prescribes otherwise.

While watching the Rockies (Ian Stewart) butcher their way to a loss to the Angels last night PengoSports got to thinking, "why the fu*k not score something as a mental error?" Huh?! If you screw up you screw up. Mentally or physically should not matter. Why punish the pitcher for the brain-fart of another? It is time for the 'MENTAL ERROR' to be added to official scoring in baseball.

To the game:

In the 8th, with a man on first and no outs, Stewart fielded a sacrifice bunt, checked second base, saw no play, looked to first, double clutched and threw late to Todd Helton at first. No outs and men on first and second. That's a Mental E-5, or E-5 m. He spaced the speed of the batter and the double clutch caused the runner to be safe.

Next batter and another sacrifice bunt. Jimenez makes a great play off the mound, fields it, and whips it to an unprepared Stewart who fumbles his feet around, but not on, the bag and the runner is safe. Mental E-5. The rest is vintage old Rockies and that was the end of another win streak.

This is not a rant against Ian Stewart or any one fielder. It is a rant against a crappy rule. Make a bonehead play and get an 'E'. The ball drops between two slack jawed fielders, shortstop and second base for example, the team gets a Team Mental Error, or E Team-6/4. Pitchers would be happier, fielders are accountable, stat whores have a field day, and the truth is finally told.

Rockies Lose a Scapegoat

After a lousy April and a crappy May the Colorado Rockies finally fired manager Clint Hurdle today. PengoSports never thought much of Hurdle as a manager, he over-managed the pitching staff and the team's execution was spotty at best, but he was a quality human being and always a stand up guy. He even showed up at his own firing press conference took the bullet and wished interim manager, Jim Tracy, good luck. Class. Yes it is possible to suck and have buckets of class. Good luck to you Clint. You will make some team an excellent hitting coach and some town an excellent citizen.

On a related note, MLB.com writer Thomas Harding reported that the Colorado Springs Sky Sox manager Tom Reynolds (it's Runnells asshat) was named the Rockies' new bench coach (he has since corrected it. The story was phoned in to MLB.com and the editor butchered it. Sorry Thomas. Your editor is the asshat). In the age of Google there is no excuse for this lazy crap. Come on MLB.com!

A big congrats to TR! Even though you will now have to go through life as Tommy Reynolds. At least this way if you owe money, are wanted by the feds or being hunted by the mob you are free and clear!

PengoSports Christmas Gift List

Merry Christmas, happy holidays and good lovin' from all the staff at the
Inadvertent Sexual Christmas Image Hospital!

Now that's over let's get onto this year's gifts:

To the Colorado Avalanche:
A run of good health, consistent play and strong goaltending to get Super Joe to the playoffs in his last season. It ain't happening, but it's a nice thought.


To Joe Sakic, a class act and first ballot hall of famer:

A playoff run and

To the Arena Football League and the Colorado Crush: Someone to give a sh*t. The 50 yard indoor war is over. There were no winners.


To the the MLS, soccer in general and the Colorado Rapids:

Some fu*kin' balls. Christ! Play like men and quit yer flopping about, whining and cryin'!


To Aussie Rules Football and Rugby League: An audience in this country and a nationwide cable agreement between Setanta and Comcast so we can become said audience (keep harassing your local provider to carry the channel). These are awesome sports and would develop a good following if we only could watch them!


To the Colorado Rockies:
A plan. A clue. Anything. Just stick to it. Oh, and an owner with some cash.


And finally to the Denver Broncos:

A whole fu*k load of cobras! More cobras than can be counted. Cobras, cobras, cobras. Lock them in a room together and see what happens. Hey Shanahan! try scripting the first 15 cobras! Broncos and cobras go in, only cobras come out.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Happy holidays from PengoSports!

Class Takes a Holliday

The Rockies traded Matt Holliday to the Oakland A's this week for a high-ball closer (never a good idea in Denver) who doesn't close any more, a starting pitcher who went 7-16 last year (penciled in as a 4th or 5th starter on a team that is filled with 4th or 5th starters) and an outfielder who has issues with plate disipline (lots-o-k's). Three things that bode well for life at Coors Field. Goodbye Matt Holliday, hello spare parts and a great big fu*k you to the Colorado Rockies ownership group and front office.

Would Holliday have signed long term with the Rocks? Probably not. He has douche bag extraordinaire Scott Boras as his agent and Boras likes his clients to test the open market to get a big-assed contract. Fine. That is the system and mid-market teams like Colorado have little chance to compete with the big fish in the free agent game.


Owner, Charlie Monfort, blaming the crappy 2008 season on contract negotiations with Holliday is brutal and classless. The team sucked because the pitchers, Jeff Francis, had horrible years (sorry Aaron Cook and Ubaldo Jimenez, half years), Spilborgs was your best, and only, clutch hitter and the injury bug bit the team pretty hard. The future contract of a guy signed through 2009 didn't play a part. If you can't afford to pay him be honest with Holliday and the fans and just tell the truth. It shows professionalism and class that are sorely lacking in the current sports world. Professionalism and class, two things that the Rockies front office are lacking.

Matt Holliday plays the game the right way. He respect the game, he does not showboat, he hustles out the routine plays and he gives back to the fans. I have watched him sign autograph after autograph before Sky Sox games never complaining, never trying to avoid the task and even asking the crowd, "did I get everyone?" Class, and a hell of a ballplayer. He will be missed.

Good luck with the A's! Hope that you make a whole sh*tload of cash with your next contract. You are one guy who truly deserves it. Good luck, goodbye Matt Holliday.