Eat of Bowl of Dicks Award #2

PengoSports is not proud to present its
"Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award"
to the NHL, Gary Bettman and every NHL owner.
Congrats assholes. Hope you choke on every last bite.

As you may know, PengoSports loves the hockey. PengoSports loves the NHL hockey. And PengoSports thinks the NHL playoffs are the greatest 6 weeks in sport. Pure awesome! Just a great game played by incredible athletes. That said, we're done. No more. This lock out has finished us. The League, you know, the owners that pull Gary Bettman's puppet strings, are all a bunch of corrupt, greedy, incompetent bastards and don't deserve our support. That means no more going to games, buying merchandise or watching on TV. Nope. Goodbye, you suck and eat a bowl of dicks you feckless pieces of shit.

Hey, lookie here! It's Gary Bettman and the NHL owners.
The greatest assemblage of ass-hats, douchebags
and rectal thermometers this world has ever seen.

After shutting down an entire season in 2004 to get the financial model they wanted the owners came back this time saying they needed more of the same things. IT WAS YOUR AGREEMENT IN 2005 ASSHOLES! The players didn't win! You won! The league is also making a lot more revenue today. A lot. The players are willing to work with you but the League always wants more, more more. Enough. I don't watch the game for the owners. I don't watch the game for Bettman. I watch the game for the game itself and the great athletes that play it as a TEAM. Hockey is the ultimate team sports. 4 lines, 3 D pairs and a strong presence in net. Bettman's not out there taking a shift. If a team is losing money most likely it is due to the moronic contracts the TEAMS paid out to the players and poor management, not the players. Screw you bastards. Dammit!

The owners present their latest offer.
Hope they don't 'draw mud'

So are we giving up on hockey? HELL NO! We are giving up on NHL hockey. PengoSportsis going back to the roots of the game. We'll go to Colorado College games at the World Arena; Air Force hockey games at the Cadet Ice Arena; Denver Cutthroats CHL games at the Denver Coliseum; even some high school, pond, inline and floor hockey games. We'll get our hockey and keep most of our money. And the money we spend will go to help the lower levels of the game.

Colorado College plays at the World Arena.
Tickets are reasonable, the team is good and
they don't have a fu*kin' owner to screw shit up.

CC/DU. One of the great rivalries in hockey.
Tough ticket, but worth it. Find a way to see a game.

Air Force hockey. They play the game the right way.
Tickets are cheap, games are close and you are
a great American for supporting this hockey team.

Screw you NHL! Choke on a big-asses bowl of dicks!

Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award

Hey! The Olympics are here again and NBC and its minion substations are butchering the coverage just like they did with Vancouver, Beijing, Turin, Athens, Salt Lake City, Sydney and on and on and on and on...

Yes, it will be in color. No. It will not be LIVE. EVER!

I watched part of BBC's coverage of the opening ceremonies LIVE, yes really LIVE, on the interwebs. It was um, kind of understated, you know? British. The announcers pretty much let the freak show that is any opening ceremony speak for itself and filled in here and there to flesh out the bits and bobs. And you know what? I stopped thinking about how bizarre and overboard the show was and, wait for it, kind of, sort of, enjoyed it. 

Like the Olympics, except not as freaky. Photo - Carol M. Highsmith

...And here comes the team from East Dickezstan.

Then, later that night, I was checking out NBC's NOT LIVE coverage with presiding chuckleheads Matt Lauer, Meredith Vieira, Bob Costas and a slew of other talking turds Kamikazing the show straight down to the lowest common denominator . Hosts are usually annoying, but after watching the BBC's coverage? F*ck these guys! Kay-riste! All I kept thinking was, "shut up! Shut up!! Shut up!!!" and I so, so wanted one of those Star Trek Wrath of Khan ear creatures to eat my brain. KHAAAN!

LAUER!!! COSTAAAAS!!!

So in honor of the Peacock network's wonderful past, present and future coverage of the Olympics and other 'LIVE' events (hell, even when an event is shown 'LIVE' on the East Coast those assholes often delay the feed for us in the Mountain & Pacific Time Zones) I present PengoSports' Eat of Bowl of Dicks Award to the National Broadcasting Company:

The PengoSports' 'Eat a Bowl of Dicks Award'

Bon appetit!