Here are three of the teams in the CONCACAF Hexagonal, Mexico on the right, Honduras middle and the USA left, as they try to reach the 2014 World Cup! (Jamaica, Costa Rica & Panama have the other chairs)
Okay. This time we get to watch it. Really. The CONCACAF World Cup Hexagonal begins Wednesday with the US team traveling to play Honduras in the most violent city in the world, San Pedro Sula!
Welcome to San Pedro Sula! Now prepare to die.
Game time is 200pm MST. beIN Sport, Comcast channel 553, has your coverage. 3 points would be nice. Not getting murdered would also be nice. Go USA!!!
It's the USA vs Antigua & Barbuda in exciting World Cup qualifying action!
Looking to watch tonight's World Cup qualifier between the United States and Antigua & Barbuda? Better have beIN Sports, channel 312 on Comcast (right below the Pay-Per-Porn channels. Dish - channel 408. DirectTV - channel 620 ). It is LIVE starting at 455pm MDT.LIARS!!! DIRTY FILTHY LIARS!!! COMCAST ONLY HAS THE ESPANOL VERSION! WANT TO WATCH THE USA GAME? SUCK IT! DAMMIT COMCAST! PULL YOUR HEAD OUT AND GET THE ENGLISH VERSION OF beIN SPORTS BEFORE THE NEXT ROAD QUALIFIER!
What you will see tonight if you have beIN Sports (except it's men's soccer. Although I do believe many of the boys will be wearing skirts).
beIN Sports carries soccer. Lots and lots of soccer. Matches from Spain's La Liga, Italy's Serie A, France's Legue 1. Also World Cup qualifier matches from South America (CONMEBOL) and North America (CONCACAF). Plus other soccer stuff. In fact, it's all soccer stuff. So if you like the soccer it's a good channel for you, oh, unless you don't speak languages other than English. Yeah, they broadcast in the games in the language of the countries they get the feed from. Really, it's not so bad. After a while you don't even notice someone is talking. So you might as well start watching and, who knows? You might even learn something. Or not.
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Et al. 1-0 in the 69th minute on a goal by Alex Morgan, from a beautiful pass by Megan Rapinoe (PengoSports' tourney MVP). Pissed away in the 81st when 3 US defenders panicked and gifted the ball to Japan's Aya Miyama who easily placed in the net and we were off to bonus/free soccer-time!
Will the next contestant for America's Sweetheart please step forward.
2-1 US, in the 104th
minute of bonus soccer-time, on a Abby Wambach header off of great service
from Morgan. But since it's soccer, and since it's FIFA, the awesomeness
that would have been an incredible OT goal is crapped all over and we
still have a minute in this added period and 15 MORE of the other
added period to play and, of course, the US defense folded under the
Japanese pressure and allowed the equalizer in the 117th, just 3 minutes
from victory and thus denying the extra few minutes of fame tacked on to the usual 15 for women's soccer. 2-2
going to PK's. A feeling of FU*K! Is all over this.
P.K.'s
1st PK was dribbled weakly into the Japanese goalie. 0-0.
Goal Japan. 0-1.
2nd PK was up, and good! If it was an extra-point, which it wasn't. 0-1.
Japan kicks one into Solo. 0-1.
3rd PK rolls to a stop at the Japanese tender. 0-1.
Japan smokes one into the net. 0-2.
Wambach with blasts one in, and not with her head. 1-2.
Goal Japan. 1-3. And that was that.
A bit sexist to say they kick like girls,
but they did kick like girls. Wee little girls.
The US team had more talent, better chances and controlled the game. But Japan didn't give a sh*t about any of that and responded every time and just won the game. They were the better team and deserved victory:
Congratulations to Japan.
Honorable winners and World Cup champions!
KONJOU - will-power, guts, temper, nature, spirt
Japan gets a thunderous welcome! Hail to our glorious victors!
First open this link in a new tab and let it play in the backgroud: Vuvuzelas
Ahhhhh! The sweet sound of, of, of, oh, screw it! It's just the sound of a sh*tload of annoying little fu#ks with plastic horns. It just screams SOCCER! Doesn't it?
Soccer. The World's Game!
It's World Cup time and that means PengoSports, PengoFans, PengoReporters and just general Pengos will be in PengoHeaven every day for a month! It's PengoRiffic! (for the rest of you, WELCOME TO HELL!).
The big news! USA beats England 1-1!!! Yeah us! Yeah.
England attacks the USA defensive zone in exciting soccer action!
It was a terrible game. Just terrible. But the US tied the bloody Brits and took an undeserved point so they still have hope, until they choke against Slovenia and/or Algeria, to advance to the knockout stage, where, if they advance, they will be knocked out early. Success for the USA is to make it to this stage, not to win the whole damn thing, and that is one of the reason soccer fails in this country. Americans understand winning and losing, not ties. If we can't win the whole thing why care? So, with that said, World Cup fever has gripped the nation and the vast majority of the populous is frantically looking for some ibuprofen to help get rid of the annoying ache and resume watching NASCAR, or basketball, or baseball, or the dog rub its ass on the carpet, anything but soccer.
Even a stinkin' cat can see that the goal keeper totally cocked that up.
Heh. Heh, heh. Heh, heh, heh! It says, "DONG".
I get it. Actually I don't. What is this product "DONG" and why advertise it at a soccer match? (It does seem the perfect sponsor for the sport). PengoSports could use the internets to see that DONG is an energy company out of Denmark and that is not that funny (energy companies, as a rule, are not humorous. Maybe if they were a subsidiary of WANG Computers, or Siemens Medical, now that would be a laugh riot, but they are not, so it's not.) So, we here at PengoSports have decided that "DONG" means wiener and those crazy Danes are really, really into wieners. Funny. Let CSI Copenhagen know this case is now closed.
And speaking of DONGs, here's a little something from our friends at The Onion:
