See You In April

Another season's in the books for the Sky Sox. A year that started with so much promise just kind of washed away in the rain (and cold and that dastardly torquing East wind). But hey, that's minor league baseball.

There's always next year!

Okay. Is baseball gone? Good, because it's time for FOOTBALL!

Maybe, just maybe, the most exciting
shot of a football field you'll ever see!

Hell! The only sports better than football are hockey; Aussie Rules; Rugby League; and some baseball; oh, and some soccer...blah, blah, blah. 

I'm bitter because I don't get the NFL RedZone with my free NFL Sunday Ticket package on DirecTV. Yes I get all the games, but I'll have to watch the boring stuff and work the clicker myself. Screw you Goodell! You're Satan!

As*holes! Don't you dare make me work while I watch TV

Hot Pants

Baseball pants have changed through the years. From the old, woolen bloomers worn into the 60's...

Nice pants!
Thank you! Nice pants right back to you!

 ...to the super-tight disco pants of the 70's...

Kent Tekulve could watch a double-header and then
dance the night away without needing to change!

...to the baggy, hide-a-turd jobs of today...

Manny being Manny sporting that "just woke up
from a bender/homeless guy look" that's all the
rage with the kids these days.

Some players do sport the old school look...

Aaron Cook from 2011 with the knee-high style.

...and then last night, when the ghost of the 1976 White Sox reared its ugly head and possessed Jordan Pacheco of our Sky Sox:

Um. Jordan. Aah, your pants.
Something's...you know? Wrong...um...

...but we'll give you $10 to wear them
in a game like that. Pleeeeeese!

And are those Elf cleats?!
ELF CLEATS WOULD BE AWESOME!

Rave on Jordan Pacheco!
Let your freak flag fly!

 What do you say dudes from the Memphis Redbirds?

AWESOME! It's the
James Brown Jordan Pacheco Celebrity Hot Tub Party!

LOOK OUT!

The Nashville Sounds bullpen is so, so chill...

What's cooler than cool?
ICE COLD!

...and then, in a flash, FOUL BALL comin' at 'cha!

Sweet Jesus! It's a BALL!

RUN! PANIC!! DAMMIT! DO SOMETHING!!!

You can never get too far away!
If only someone had one of those leather glove thingys
you can use to catch those awful, awful balls!

There it is! That's the one! It came right at us!

Panic over. Time to re-chill.

Guy (third from the right) - "Did you see how brave I was?"
Other guys - "We was all brave. So very, very brave."

How To Do Postgame Interviews

This is how every team should do post game, on-field interviews:

Well played Bearcats. Well played.

Now for locker room interviews one need look no further than video bomber extraordinaire, Ryan Kesler of the Vancouver Canucks:

Hurt Feelings

Robinson Cano got booed at the Home Run Contest. He didn't choose 
Billy Butler from Kansas City so the KC fans booed him. And the KC 
fans booed his family. They booed Cano for being a Yankee. They booed 
him for not choosing Butler. Then they cheered when he rolled a doughnut
in the contest. 

You didn't pick our guy!
How dare you pick three guys how happen to be better!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Because of all the booing the media started to whine. The players started
to whine. The union chief started to whine. Commissioner Bud Selig started 
to whine. And because of all of the whining about Kansas City booing
KC started to whine about being treated unfairly. 

Kay-riste! Now everyone has hurt feelings...

Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings - HD from cricobs on Vimeo.

You Get To Do This When You Win

Looks fun doesn't it? Just win and you're in!
Hell. You don't even need to win it all.
It seems just your division or league will do.

Omir's Amazing Bat

Sky Sox catcher Omir Santos is the only player in all of professional baseball to use a 'split-bat'. He tells PengoSports, "my split-bat' has two parts for hitting. That gives me one more than all other hitters. Plus, sometimes when I'm slumping and can't get hits, I catch the ball in the split, or just pick it off the ground, you know, Miyagi-San style, like when he taught Daniel-San how to catch flys (the insects not balls) with that tiny 'split-bat' thing...

The original 'split-bat'.

 ...and then I throw the bat into the outfield as far as I can! No one wants to try to catch a bat. Especially my 'split-bat'! Base hit for Omir!"

Sky Sox catcher Omir Santos with his amazing 'split-bat'.

A close-up of Santos' 'split-bat'.

Way to go Omir Santos! The Mr. Miyagi of AAA Baseball!

Poop On Your Star Wars Night!

The Sky Sox are having their 3rd annual/2nd annual Star Wars night on Saturday, June 23rd. It will be a night of nerds in Star Wars outfits, freaks not in Star Wars outfits, confused and bewildered baseball fans wishing they had checked the promo schedule and a giant evil rat.

Anytime something like this comes up all I can think of is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog hanging out with the Episode I crowds in New York:

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars - watch more funny videos

Hello evil rat. Where are your bells?

You look sad vandalized Stormtrooper. What's wrong?

A skinny Boba Fett in sneakers, a Stormtroop hanging out,
a pink Stormtrooper lookin' sassy
and a skinny Stormtroop posing for a snapshot with a fan.

Fat Vader is too fat to pitch.
His minion tosses the ball while Darth wanders off for a snack.

The event is a good time for families, Star Wars fans and nerds. Game time is 6:05pm. Get there early to see all the freaks.

Two Mannys?

With a tear in our eye, we say, 'goodbye!'

Peeking in the RiverCats' dugout during Sunday's game something didn't seem right about Manny:

Here is Manny being Manny from Game 1...

...and Manny from game 4. When did he start wearing glasses?

 Hmmm? Looked odd with the naked eye. Really looked odd zoomed in.

And he looks kind of doughy. What the?

Wait a second! That's not Manny! IMPOSTER!

Who is that fake-dreadlocked man? And what has he done with Manny?
 

The imposter inspects his bat like Manny...

...wanders the dugout aimlessly like Manny...

...he's even wearing Manny's batting gloves,
protective elbow guard and doo-rag...

Does Manny have a doppelganger?

The face is starting to look familiar...

...is it? Could it be?

It is! It's ex-Sky Sox pitcher Bruce Billings!
Now sporting a beard and glasses to fool the masses.

Damn! Manny's going to be so pissed! Bruce is going to die!

Bruce Billings give Manny back his stuff.
Manny seems cool with it.

No hatin', just lazin' on the fence together. Manny is a good dude.

Bruce lived. Manny hit a couple of balls hard and seemed to be a good teammate. Good luck with your comeback Manny. Thanks for a fun weekend. You deserve to go out on your own terms. Hope you get that chance.

Manny-Apocalypse

What's happening in

Well, Saturday was Todd Helton bobblehead night!

I've always had the feeling Todd didn't like me...hmmm?

People love them bobbleheads! There is one already on eBay starting at $29.99, or buy it now for just $59.99 w/ free shipping! Wow! That's almost as cool as this thing (or not):

The horror! The horror!

It's got to be the legs, or the transition of the legs to the tomato body, or the lack of pants that push it over the normal, creepy mascot vibe into the 'get the hell away from me' mascot vibe. Let's just chalk this one up in the 'I Do Not Like That Thing' category okay? 

Hernan Iribarren makes a fine running catch
in front of the Sky Sox bullpen.
Kennil Gomez, standing, shows his appreciation.

Onto the game. Cats crushed the Sox 10-2. Cats always crush the Sox. The RiverCats are a damn good baseball team. And Manny Ramirez was a 40 year old Manny Ramirez. Going 1 for 6 with a weak single to rightfield.

Manny singles to right even while playing with a cat trapped under his helmet.

Manny watches one of his 'foul' balls.

Just when I think I get my shot of the season (see the Why I shoot Post) I stumble on a better one the very next day...

The Zombie Manny-Apocalypse is upon us!

Why I Shoot

Moment like this are why I shoot:

Sky Sox shortstop Tommy Fields turns two
despite the slide of Sacramento's Brandon Hicks
and the distraction of 2nd baseman Hernan Iribarren
kung-fu-ing himself into the play.

You work into position. Then you wait. And wait. And wait. Most of the time you get squat, or pictures of bullpen shenanigans...

The Sacramento RiverCat bullpen doing a lot of sitting around and stuff.

...or pictures of Manny Ramirez doing stuff...

Double-Dutch. Man-Ram style!

...but sometimes your preparation and work pay off. You have the perfect light, the right play and an awesome shot (see above). This is why I shoot.

Sky Sox 3rd baseman Brandon Wood takes a poop on the field.

Speaking of squat, you mostly get this. Mostly.