Fear The Beards

At a press conference the other day Dodgers' reliever Brian Wilson was offered a cool million to shave off his beard. He said no. But he did give props to the Pacific Coast League by wearing his Albuquerque Isotopes shirt under his LA jersey.

Do that in the NFL and your ass gets a 10 grand fine.

And here's his brother playing for Angola against Egypt at the FIBA African Championships:

Maybe you should transfer some of that
beard to the top part of your head?

Pretty cool eh? Know what else is cool? Rugby League action on Fox Sports 2 tonight at 1000pm! Watch the Manly Sea Eagles and Canberra Raiders LIVE from Down Under! 

Watch Fox Sports 2 tonight at 1000pm,
on your brand new modern TV!

Oh. The Broncos host the Rams tonight at 600pm on KKTV 11. It is preseason still, so we should all get really, really excited, do some legal weed, dilute our piss tests and take the next six weeks off. 

Mr. Miller. You order is ready.

STUFF!

Saturday night! Let's watch us some sports!

Big men breaking out the big screen!

Right now:

USA v Canada in rugby union action on Universal Sports (DirecTV 625/Dish 402). Runs until about 700pm MDT, but the US is getting thumped 27-6 with just a bit to play. So watch at your own peril (unless you're a Canadian).

Rockies at Baltimore - 500pm to after 800ish MDT on Root Sports (DirecTV 683/Dish 414/Comcast 35). Rockies are taking a thumpin', down 7-1 in the 3rd.

700pm MDT - Rapids host Vancouver on Altitude (DirecTV 681/Dish 410/Comcast 56). New players Gabriel Torres and Vicente Sanchez add some spice to one of the hottest teams in the MLS. 

800pm on KKTV Channel 11 - BRONCOOOOOOOOOOOSSS! Take on the Seahawks. Manning may play a quarter+ tonight so it's worth watching for that.

1030pm - NRL Rugby, Warriors v Panthers, on Fox Sports 2 (Fuel TV DirecTV 618/Dish 398/Comcast 128). Not the greatest game, but it is the NRL and it is LIVE from Australia, so watch it dammit!

1230am - AUSSIE RULES on Fox Sports 2! Yup! It's back on a TV channel that more than 3 people can get! Bulldogs v Crows!

Enjoy your night! 

Broncos v 49ers

Tired of watching baseball? Never fear! Crappy preseason football is back tonight as the Broncos travel to San Francisco to play their starters a couple of plays and then it's "ON WITH THE SCRUBS!"  Watch LIVE on KKTV Channel 11 at 700pm MDT.

Denver Bronco scrubs doing what they do
after the starters go off to take a powder.

If you want to attending this meaningless game in person tickets are going for between $85-$485 through the 49ers and Ticketmaster (but on StubHub, which is NOT the official reseller of the NFL tickets, they are going for the low, low price of $33-$195. So much better. Not). Kay-riste! The NFL and all of its minions are a bunch of assholes for charging this kind of scratch for shitty football. But if you want your season tickets you got to pay for the preseason. Oh, and build us a stadium, oh and give us some more billionaire welfare or else we'll be forced to move to Los Angeles. Eat a bowl of dicks moneybags. 

Order up! Bowl of Dicks for the rich guys!

Well. I feel better now. Guess I have a few anger issues to work out before the real season begins.

Summer of Manning - LIVE BRONCOS BLOG

BRONCOS! WOOOO! preseason.

Time to hunt us some preseason bears!

Welcome to the GRUDGE MATCH! Culter v McDaniels some new Broncos in exciting pre-season football action!. LIVE BLOG NOW!

Your announcers for tonight are Eddie Mac and Dave Logan.
And a lion.

632 pm - Eddie McCaffrery is on the air! And looks like he's going to hurl! Mid-season form for the new guy in the booth!

636 pm - Logan is babbling. We are already looking for the mute button. 

638 pm - No Cutler. Damn. He's still recovering from giving birth to a baby earlier this week. Congrats Jay! 

640 pm - Eddie is quite uncomfortable. Reminds me of Garth Algar.

"Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed
a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar
and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated
and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?"

644 pm - Hey! The new receivers drop the ball just like the old receivers!

646 pm - Manning suprised them with the imfamous 'Bronco Suck'. Complete off of a shitty pass.

647 pm - #87 Eddie Mac with the catch!?

#87. Eddie Mac 2 Electric Boogaloo

650 pm - 3 and a lot and Eddie Mac 2 again! Oh. It's Eric Decker. Sorry should have researched better cared.

652 pm - O-line looking good. Or is it that Manning is just that awesome that he can't be hit?

653 pm - Catch the fu*kin' ball Stokley! INT. Manning's night might be over (as might be offensive portion of PengoSports' LIVE BLOG).

Is Manning better than Tebus?
Only time will tell. Only. Time. Will. Tell.

655 pm - We have a Brandon Marshall sighting. Plus Elvis Dumervil just pulled a gun in the backfield and was penalized 15 yards. What a criminal. 

659 pm - FUMBLE!!! Von Miller down to the Bears' 6! 

700 pm - Henie is in. Manning is out. His final numbers, 4/7 for 44 yards and aa pick. Looked human, or like someone that hasn't played a game in quite a while. The good news is he wasn't touched. We'll do a post-game wrap so come back after the game and GO BRONCOS!

She seems to be hiding another couple
of 'footballs' under her sweater.

UPDATED 940 pm -31 - 3! Holy Hell! Your Denver Broncos, champions of the 1st game of the preseason of the world! Just quit now and fans everywhere will wonder what could have been with a team that just had the greatest preseason performance in the history of man or ape! Get these boys to the Olympics!

In the world of bear-baiting these Bears
didn't put up much of a fight.
I want my money back!

Review - 

• Manning was rusty, but better than Tebus
• the defense has a chance to be more okay than last year
• Elvis Dumervil was caught committing a couple of crimes
• Hanie is an okay backup (as long as he doesn't have to play)
• Brock Osweiler looks like he has a future against the 3rd/4th string
• Eddie Mac is better at color commentary than he is at small talk
• The Broncos have some good young running backs
• The Bears really, really, really sucked

Night all!