Sacks Full Of Suck

Some days just suck. And some days are just sacks full of suck. This was one of those days. I don't like puppets. I don't like clowns. And I really don't like these guys. And Security Service Field at Mile High on this day was filled to the brim with these freaks and oddities.

Hey look! 3 rats and a cigarette.
That's pleasant. Bet the kids had fun.

It's not that I'm afraid of this crap. I just don't like it. You know, the want to push you down a flight of stairs kind of don't like it.

"Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror.
Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not,
then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies!"

Towards the end of the night they were plotting against me:

The tall camera guy.
Let's kill and eat him like we do our babies.

But I survived. I survived to shoot a wedding proposal later that night:

Congrats to Jon and Holly!

And got these shots of Stefan Romero of the Tacoma Rainiers miss a catch in left but leave this ultimate series of shadows:

Reach for it!
Ooh! Cool shadow!

The ball shadow isn't in your shadow glove.

And...here's the wall...
and there goes the ball.

From here on in, no more freaks...

...oh, except for this way overexposed pic of Jon and Holly, left,
Sox the Fox, middle, and a jack-booted thug, right.

Poop On Your Star Wars Night!

The Sky Sox are having their 3rd annual/2nd annual Star Wars night on Saturday, June 23rd. It will be a night of nerds in Star Wars outfits, freaks not in Star Wars outfits, confused and bewildered baseball fans wishing they had checked the promo schedule and a giant evil rat.

Anytime something like this comes up all I can think of is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog hanging out with the Episode I crowds in New York:

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog - Star Wars - watch more funny videos

Hello evil rat. Where are your bells?

You look sad vandalized Stormtrooper. What's wrong?

A skinny Boba Fett in sneakers, a Stormtroop hanging out,
a pink Stormtrooper lookin' sassy
and a skinny Stormtroop posing for a snapshot with a fan.

Fat Vader is too fat to pitch.
His minion tosses the ball while Darth wanders off for a snack.

The event is a good time for families, Star Wars fans and nerds. Game time is 6:05pm. Get there early to see all the freaks.

Annoying Bells Night

Monday night's giveaway at Security Service Field at Mile High? F#*%ing mini cowbells. Yup. Last night was Annoying Bells Night:

Get your stinkin', free, annoying bells here!

"I'll sign, but only if you get rid of them damn bells!"

The Sox lost 3-1 to the AAA Padres. It serves them right that they lost to a team of synchronized nose pickers like the Tucson.

The Olympics are only days away boys!
The Synchronized Nose Picken' gold is almost yours!
USA! USA!! USA!!!

Now I hate mini-annoying bells almost as much as I hate Iceland...I hate Iceland...

...so I encouraged mascot extraordinaire, Sox the Fox, that he should liberate said annoying bells, stuff them in a sack and drop them in a dumpster. He was still all Bruce Wayne and not yet in the Batman suit so he just smiled and wandered away. Well, guess what? That no good bastard of a mascot went and fashioned himself a belt of the f*#%ing things and after his intro he hopped into the stands, sidled up behind me and commenced to clanging and rattling to wake the dead! I'd move and he'd find me again (granted there were only 12 people there due to a hella-wind/rain storm about an hour before 1st pitch so I was pretty easy to find). 

Clang away you damn over-sized rat. Where's my dCon?

A rat with an empty pizza box. Hello Templeton.

As I left the stadium I saw an apt metaphor, or something, for the evening:

Yeah! That's right! Nobody wants you! Have fun in the landfill you annoying piece of crap!

And since I'm on a rant here, who are the marketing geniuses that thought this one up?

Legendary Classic Rock. Brought to you by Big Large Huge Stuff.

 BOOOOOOOO!!! Boo to everything!